SSI Disability, should I apply for her?

[unsuremomma]

I have been told by DHS, her teachers and some of her therapists that my BPD (with PTSD, major depressive disorder, etc) would qualify for SSI Disability.   I've heard this for the past 2-3 years.  I haven't yet.

My first thought is that she may recover and become a lot more functional in the future, maybe sooner that we expect (this is the hope).

My other thought is that I don't always want her to play the victim.  I feel that by me filing for SSI Disability for her, that this will give her a crutch and she will never recover.

Has anyone else gone through getting their BPD child on SSI Disability?

I want to help, not hinder. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[livednlearned]

Hi unsuremomma,

I don't have experience with SSI disability, so can't offer much insight there. And my child (13) is not diagnosed BPD. During the past year, he has experienced suicidal ideation twice, and has ADHD and was dx'ed ODD. He's now being treated for anxiety/depression (metacognitive therapy). But your question about helping/hindering is one I struggle with so much, and it feels like either way, both are going to involve some pain. I try to chose the pain that is more likely to end well, even if it means more pain in the short term.

It sounds like SSI Disability would go directly to your D? If it could be routed to you based on her being a minor, would you be ok putting it aside on her behalf so that you can use the funds in positive ways? Maybe towards RTC if that's what you decide is best for her? Or make access conditional (positive reinforcement)? Again, I don't know if this is even possible in terms of how SSI works.

The downside is that it shifts a perceived power/control to you that can be difficult. I have a small savings account for my S13, and his N/BPDx dad told him I was greedy, going to use the money for myself, etc. It took a long time to assure S13 that it was in his best interests that he does not access it until he is older. I let him see the bank balance and lately, have let him use the debit card when we are together and it is an "approved" purchase. He is slowly seeing that I can be trusted, even though he chafes against the oversight. I tell him his job is to test my boundaries, and my job is to enforce them.  

[unsuremomma]

Since she is in treatment, and looks like will be once again for awhile due to really recent events (phone call home from current placement), that there would not be any monthly stipend, which is fine.  I don't care about the money, but for the insurance, which will help.  If she gets it now, then I bet once she turns 18, it will be that much easier for her to get herself.  I just don't want her to take the money and well, not do anything with her life.

[lbjnltx]

That's a hard decision unsuremomma... .

I went through the same deliberation at one time prior to RTC placement.

My thinking seems to be inline with yours... .some people will use it as a springboard to help themselves up in the world and some people will use it as a bed to lie in.

Do what you think is going to help her get the help she needs to get well.  If she doesn't get treatment because there is no way to fund it... .then she will need SSI more than ever.  If she gets the treatment she needs because she has SSI then she will have the option to continue it or not.

Hope that doesn't confuse the decision making more.

lbj

[unsuremomma]

As per my previous post... I'm confused all around...

Does help though.  Right now I have insurance through work and she is on a program that makes medicaid pay as well, but that is coming to an end soon I think, i'll speak with her "probation officer" tomorrow to make sure.  I'll look more into it and maybe call the local SS office tomorrow. :/