Why is my daughter not responding to Treatment?

[SSinNYC]

She has been going to therapy for 10 months but not much has changed?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Hello SSinNYC,

Glad to see you back.  

There are many factors that come into play regarding therapy.

Is it the right kind of therapy for your daughter?

Is it the right therapist for your daughter?

Is your daughter getting support from the family?

Is your daughter not working at her own recovery?

Does your daughter need more intense therapy environment?

Are we expecting too much?

These are all valid questions and ones I had to ask myself as well after 2 years of outpatient therapy.  

Real progress is slow and after a year it is a good time to reevaluate.  Can you talk to her therapist about your concerns?  

lbj

[lbjnltx]

This is a good piece to invest time reading and watching:

Supporting a Child in Therapy

[NorthernGirl]

Hi SSinNYC. I'm sorry you are dealing with this challenge. My SS22 is in a addiction/mental health facility right now and we realize that although he is there, he is not participating. He is trying to protect and gain his mom (uBPD) affection and so he is there (she demanded he go there) but not prepared to change just yet.

lbjnltx has some good questions, and I'd be interested to know what you think. Certainly any therapy is difficult, especially if the person isn't ready to make changes. Where do you think your daughter is in terms of wanting to improve?

How are you looking after yourself through all of this?

[eyvindr]

Hi SSinNYC,

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's hard enough dealing with an adult loved one who is suffering from BPD -- when it's our own child, the worry and stress can be overwhelming. My son is Dx'd as bipolar -- and he can still be frustrating to engage with at times, even though he's grown and out of the house.

I know 10 months must feel like an eternity to you now, but it really hasn't been that much time. I hate to tell you that, but it's the truth. Think of it this way -- while your daughter is still young, she's had her whole life so far to develop the dysfunctional coping mechanisms that cause so much of the external damage with this illness. It's going to take her a while to "un-learn" those unhealthy ways and learn some new, healthier ways to interact in the world. Hang in there.