One week out the missing going away

[nowwhatz]

I thought I should post something positive.

It has been a week since I officially dumped my "friend."  One of the most difficult weeks of my life.  Looking back it is amazing that I was able to accomplish so much in my work and personal life last week.

Yesterday was the best day by far of the week. I was able to do a lot of house cleaning, laundry, reconnected with more people I have neglected for so long and started to get my sense of humor back that had gone missing.

One of my reconnects was to the exgf's nephew. I have an opportunity to start a potentially lucrative and very interesting business with this young man who is fininshing his phd. We were supposed to start this over a year ago but I was fixated on the problems of my exgf and, like everything and everyone else including myself, got put asiide.This may be one of those sometimes things just work out deals as the timeing is actually better now... .he finishes school in August and that will give us time to get things going.

Starting yesterday and continuing to this morning I a not missing the exgf much.  I had a dream about her last night that was a little different... .in the dream she wanted me to have sex with her really bad. I could taste it all in but in my dream I turned her down... .something that never happened in real life.

I know this involved breaking no contact but texting the exgf yesterday and requesting she pay back some $ she owes me and getting a nasty reply was also helpful to me in driving home the point to me on who she really is. Don't feel angry or sad right now.

Also stumbled on to a helpful article about NC in normal breakups which matched many of the the things posted here on bpdfamily... .especially how NC is essential to rebuild ourselves and become better people.  The article also addressed breakups with people who have pesonality disorders or toxic/harmful relationships and stressed that we can find someone better.

Today I am going to go hiking with a friend of mine who got pushed to the wayside 15 months ago.  This is a very attractive woman who is actually crazy about me and very, very normal. I debated whether or not I should go hiking with her (thinking about her feelings) but decided heck yeah. I can be straight with her if she has any thoughts about trying to start a r/s with me and hopefully have a friend in a normal friendship.

Being out in the beautiful mountains here will be so nice also!

Anyways... .loonnnnnnng way to go but yes after I week I am noticing a difference.

Many of you great people here have told me I am doing much better than I realize all things considered and I am starting to see that now and it feels good to know.

Thank you.