uBPDw thinks I should be checked for dementia...

[MammaMia]

My BPDs will not put anything in writing.  That way he can blame MY lack of listening, loss of hearing, and/or "cognitive disabilities" with no tangible proof of what he really said.

Drives me nutz!

[Mutt]

My BPDs will not put anything in writing.  That way he can blame MY lack of listening, loss of hearing, and/or "cognitive disabilities" with no tangible proof of what he really said.

Drives me nutz!

I got several such emails yesterday My ex partner was dissociating and baiting. She started sending email early AM because she wants different days for Easter. I have a court order and politely answered her that if she wants the kids for a visit it's Ok and I'm adhering to the order. I'm indifferent to her behavior and I accept that she's not going to change. I didn't JADE or take the bait. By late PM she simply said Ok and agreed to the visit. She's emotionally immature and was railing against my boundaries. I stuck to them. She's also called me crazy on more than one occasion.

It took time and practice and it doesn't drive me crazy like it used to - it's BPD. I depersonalize the mental illness. I think her family is coming from out if town and she feels bad the kids are not with her.

[MammaMia]

Mutt

I agree. 

While it has driven me nutz on occasion in the past, I too have gotten to the point where I accept this behavior as part of BPD, and I now avoid being sucked into worthless confrontations that serve no purpose. 

It is a great defense mechanism and it works.



 

[gomez_addams]

My uBPDw thinks I should be checked for dementia because I can never remember what "she has explained to me". She shouts that I "just do not think" and "is there anyone in there?"

Yep.  I have, in my uBPD wife's opinion, a mental condition that causes me to invent things and to believe they are real.  Because I live in La-La Land. 

Usually the things I'm inventing are the things she doesn't want to be reminded of.

Gomez

[Svarl1]

Would you believe it! I too have been told by my wife on many occasions that she thinks I have either dementia or Asperger's syndrome.

It's a difficult thing to be told, but I recommend to treat it the same as any other verbal abuse - "in one ear and out the other".

Some people will mouth off in these ways as they appear to get exasperated after the very first attempt to explain something.

The best thing you can do is to remain calm.

[Loosestrife]

Hey Verytired,

There is probably nothing wrong with you apart from being very tired!

I bet if you had a weekend off from your BPD and caught up with some friends on your own, you would soon feel a bit more like your old self. I did that this weekend and it worked wonders. Even waking up in my own at my friends house made me feel so much more relaxed and safe.

It is hard to maintain boundaries and worn down by BPD projection, but when your tired it is impossible.

Hope this rough patch passes for you soon