Can bi-polar "hide out" in pwBPD?

[verytired]

I've been wondering if my uBPDw is also bi-polar. Does anyone have suggestions as to how I can tell if this is so?

Things have gotten so crazy and unpredictable (even after many years of marriage) that I can't sort any of her actions out any more. It's just a tangled mess of mostly anger with glimmers of light coming much less frequently than they used to. How can you see through the thick fog of BPD to see if something else lurks there?

She won't admit she has a problem (and may not even know it), so she won't seek help so I'm on my own to figure it out

[vortex of confusion]

BPD can be co-exist with lots of other things. Even the doctors sometimes have a difficult time sorting it all out. I don't think any of us can make any guesses as to how to tell for certain whether or not our partners have BPD, bipolar, or some other mix of stuff going on.

What I have found helpful is to not worry about what it is. I can read the lessons and look at my partner's behaviors and whether or not my reactions are helping or hurting matters. My partner is a sex addict and swears that if he deals with that he will be okay (whatever that means). I think there is more going on than just his addiction but he won't consider anything else. So, I work with the tools that I have available and try not to worry or think about what the correct label is.

Would knowing that she has bipolar too help you or make you feel better about things? Is there an underlying reason for asking this question?

[verytired]

vortex of confusion,

My step son asked me and I could not honestly answer him. He lives in Europe (for 16 years now) and has not experienced my uBPDw's behavior since he lived at home some 22 years ago. He's always known that there were serious issues, he just didn't understand enough to ask anyone about it. He was 16 when I married his Mom and left home for the military right out of high school.

It may also help to know before I decide to hang on or leave. It has gotten progressively worse and I'm not sure if I can take much more raging, punching, slapping, kicking... .

[vortex of confusion]

Have you read through some of the lessons and other informational stuff that is available here?

BPD comes in all flavors, some violent and some not. With or without bipolar, she could still be violent and have rages. The hardest part is reading about the different manifestations and reading up on BPD (and other mental disorders) and facing the facts so that you can make an informed decision about how to proceed.

A lot of people have had the experience of knowing that something is wrong but having absolutely no idea what it is or how to deal with it. I know that I used to get caught up in thinking "if (fill in the blank) happens, it will get better."

Read, read, read! Especially the stuff about setting boundaries. Do you have an escape plan for when she starts raging? I don't have the link, but there is information on how to deal with the confrontation and disrespect. Arm yourself with as much knowledge as possible. How long have you been with your wife? In some cases, where you have been together a long time and have a lot of joint stuff, leaving can be a long and scary process so it is a good idea to find out all of you can. You are going to have to stand up for yourself and she is going to pitch a fit about it.