Bpd ex girlfriend

[Staystrong4life]

Hello everyone,

I've with my ex-girlfriend for 3 1/2 years and it's been a roller coaster of a relationship. The first 2 months were amazing because we were so into each other. Then things started going downhill real fast. She would get in these moods and absolutely terrorize me and say the most filthy things possible and it really hurt me. I started finding red flag after red flag after red flag. Her mom was involved with the relationship more then she should be. She would make comments to me that were out of line and inappropriate. I can see where my ex developed BPD, I think. My ex grew up without a father because he was into drugs and would beat her Mom. Keep in mind, this is my first long term relationship so it's left me scarred. She would cut her wrists, burn her arms with a curling iron, talk suicide all the time, feel worthless and empty, no expression on her face after harming herself. Every time I called her beautiful or pretty, she would say "no, I'm not, but thanks"  I literally gave everything in this relationship to try to make it work. Took her wherever she wanted, spoiled her, helped her with debt, etc.  it was never enough. She tried breaking up with me at least 6 times and of course it's all my fault. I'm not perfect, but I treated her right. We moved to Las Vegas to live with my brother in May of 2014. Things were ok for a little bit until she started getting home sick and wanting to go home every month, impossible! The emotional abuse got worse when she was away from her family. She left me last month because we had an argument of something so pointless and blamed me for everything. Told me I have anger issues and said I should see a therapist. (This is before I even thought of BPD) I saw two therapists and explained my situation. They both said BPD. One said it's useless and to run as far away as possible. The other one said it's up to you if you want to put up with it. She needs extensive therapy though. I've tried supporting her in her decisions but she never went through with anything. Dropped out of school twice, barely has any friends, horrible relationship with her mother (yet she moved back in with her), left her job in vegas without putting in her two weeks and bad mouths me to all her co-workers. It is just ridiculous. She said she wanted to kill my brother and sister in law, screamed at me in her car really bad and almost caused an accident. The day after we broke up, she joined a dating site and denied that she made that profile. Now she is dating someone and it hasn't been a month! (Fear of abandonment) keep in mind, we moved into our new apartment last month and signed a year lease and she just leaves me. 2 weeks ago she was saying how much she missed me and loved me, wanting to get married and have kids and now she wants nothing to do with me. We had some good days but 80% was arguing over stupid crap, twisted stories, trust issues. She made me feel like I was a piece of crap, when I'm not. Anytime she would see a girl she would be very insecure or think I was checking her out when I wasn't. So crazy! Sorry this is all jumbled, typing as I go. Any advice?

[zeus123]

advice? yes. put on your NIKE shoes ad run away and run really fast don't look behind you.

[Mike-X]

Sorry for the relationship turmoil. What sort of advice are you looking for? Why did you stay in the relationship, and why do you want to continue being in it?

[Mike-X]

And 

[apollotech]

You sound like a young man. I would ask myself these questions: Do I want turmoil and upheaval in my life? Is her behavior acceptable to me? Is she someone that I can build a life with? For me, a no on any one of those questions will take me to the door.