A helpful decision making guide.

[propunchingbag]

For me this really hit home. I hope someone else on the board finds peace after reading this message. We all deserve to be happy.

10 Warning Signs of a Bad Relationship

Here are some of the warning signs of a bad relationship that can’t be ignored. It’s not easy to accept that your relationship might not be good for you – but the sooner you face reality, the sooner you can move forward.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Here’s one of the best signs of a good relationship, from Winnie the Pooh:

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. 

“Pooh!” he whimpered. 

“Yes, Piglet?” 

“Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw. 

“I just wanted to be sure of you.”  ~ A.A. Milne.

In a good relationship, you feel sure of your partner without having to ask for reassurance. :)o you feel secure, happy, fulfilled, and protected in your relationship? Maybe not – otherwise you wouldn’t be here, looking for signs of a bad relationship.


10 Signs of a Bad Relationship

I think the worst sign of all types of bad relationships is the first one: Secrets. If you can’t talk about what your partner says and does to you, then it’s a bad relationship. Another big sign of an unhealthy relationship is if you feel unhappy, insecure, and unloved when you’re with your partner. If there is the case, then maybe you need to think about starting over after a bad relationship right now, and skip these signs!

1. You keep your partner’s actions and words a secret. If you can’t tell your family or friends about the things your girlfriend or wife says and does, then you may not be in a healthy loving relationship. If you lie to protect her, then it’s time to get out of that bad relationship. You’re not just with the wrong woman…and you’re being the wrong type of man.

2. Your partner wants you to change. If your girlfriend or wife doesn’t love you as you are, run for the hills! There is one of the most important signs of bad relationships: a woman who doesn’t love or accept you as you are. Your girlfriend or wife should love you unconditionally, whether you’re rich or poor, big or small, or here or there. You know it’s time to get out when you can’t be yourself.

3. Your partner doesn’t trust you. Constant phone calls, demands on your time, and jealous fits are NOT signs of love! If your wife or girlfriend doesn’t trust you or accuses you of lying, then you need to re-evaluate your love. If she opens your mail or shows up at work unexpectedly, she doesn’t trust you. There is a sign of deep insecurity, which could lead to more serious relationship problems.

4. Your partner puts you down, in private or in front of others. If she calls you out, ridicules your thoughts or opinions, or makes you feel like a fool, then she’s no good for you! You’re better off to break up with her and start getting over your broken heart.

5. You don’t feel like an equal partner in your relationship. :)oes your wife or girlfriend make all the decisions – or do you? An unequal balance of power is a sign of a bad relationship, and a sign it’s time to get out.

6. You and your partner don’t have the same long or short-term goals. If you can’t agree on financial issues, family matters, or goals for your future, then you may want to think twice about your relationship. Nobody has the exact same plans for the future, but the happiest couples have the same focus.

7. Your girlfriend says she loves you, but doesn’t act like she loves you. Believe her nonverbal behavior (her actions) over her verbal behavior (talk is cheap!).

8. You feel bad, guilty, unhappy, depressed, or sad about your relationship. If you don’t feel secure, comfortable, and loved in your relationship, then you may be with the wrong woman. If you’re not happy, it’s a sign you’re in a bad relationship and you should think about leaving.

9. Your family and friends aren’t supportive of your relationship. I don’t think we should choose our girlfriends or wives based on our family and friends’ opinions, but I do think we should take their opinions into consideration! If your family or friends have strong reservations about your partner,

I encourage you to ask for specific reasons. Find out the root of their feelings, and try to be objective.

10. You’re wondering about the warning signs of a bad relationship. The most important warning sign of love gone bad is your gut feeling! Why are you worrying about your relationship? Would you want your sister, best friend, or daughter to be in there relationship? To find the strength and courage to either fix or leave a bad relationship, you may need to talk to a counselor.

[Warney]

thankyou i needed this today

[Loosestrife]

This is really helpful, thanks 

[gomez_addams]

I needed this.

I'm at that stage where I know what needs to be done... .but I just don't have it in me to do it.

Thanks,

Gomez

[going places]

Signs of Emotional Abuse

In the following areas, ask these questions to see if you are abusing or being abused:

    Humiliation, degradation, discounting, negating. judging, criticizing:

        Does anyone make fun of you or put you down in front of others?

        Do they tease you, use sarcasm as a way to put you down or degrade you?

        When you complain do they say that “it was just a joke” and that you are too sensitive?

        Do they tell you that your opinion or feelings are “wrong?”

        Does anyone regularly ridicule, dismiss, disregard your opinions, thoughts, suggestions, and feelings?



    Domination, control, and shame:

        Do you feel that the person treats you like a child?

        Do they constantly correct or chastise you because your behavior is “inappropriate?”

        Do you feel you must “get permission” before going somewhere or before making even small decisions?

        Do they control your spending?

        Do they treat you as though you are inferior to them?

        Do they make you feel as though they are always right?

        Do they remind you of your shortcomings?

        Do they belittle your accomplishments, your aspirations, your plans or even who you are?

        Do they give disapproving, dismissive, contemptuous, or condescending looks, comments, and behavior?

   

Accusing and blaming, trivial and unreasonable demands or expectations, denies own shortcomings:

        Do they accuse you of something contrived in their own minds when you know it isn’t true?

        Are they unable to laugh at themselves?

        Are they extremely sensitive when it comes to others making fun of them or making any kind of comment that seems to show a lack of respect?

        Do they have trouble apologizing?

        Do they make excuses for their behavior or tend to blame others or circumstances for their mistakes?

        Do they call you names or label you?

        Do they blame you for their problems or unhappiness?

        Do they continually have “boundary violations” and disrespect your valid requests?



    Emotional distancing and the “silent treatment,” isolation, emotional abandonment or neglect:

        Do they use pouting, withdrawal or withholding attention or affection?

        Do they not want to meet the basic needs or use neglect or abandonment as punishment?

        Do they play the victim to deflect blame onto you instead of taking responsibility for their actions and attitudes?

        Do they not notice or care how you feel?

        Do they not show empathy or ask questions to gather information?

    Codependence and enmeshment:

        Does anyone treat you not as a separate person but instead as an extension of themselves?

        Do they not protect your personal boundaries and share information that you have not approved?

        Do they disrespect your requests and do what they think is best for you?

        Do they require continual contact and haven’t developed a healthy support network among their own peers?

[Sunfl0wer]

Thank you!

I will come back and read this thread to remind myself that leaving is the right thing for me.