Dysregulation after every event

[Moselle]

As she comes to the realien of the divorce, she goes on a raging spree. I can't even recognize her. She has put on 30 lbs. Her hair is unkempt, and she walks around with her nose in the air.

We had mediation on Friday where she agreed to trade in the car which she is driving. My car, which costs the earth. Her truth is coming to her. She's going from a German luxury SUV to something with 4 wheels and a steering wheel. 

She's not taking that very well. There are more changes coming for her and the dysregulation continues to rage.

Fortunately I don't have to listen to it, but my children do :-(

[livednlearned]

So sad for the kids. How are they doing?

[Moselle]

On the surface they keep the act up. But they are in turmoil.

I was about to board a plane for business today, I phoned the girls to say goodnight. They were all alone and they said "Mom has gone to hospital for problems with her heart".

I had to phone someone to go and stay with the girls.

Its all for attention. She's done that before. I know what comes next. She has threatened suicide in the past.

[ForeverDad]

Threatening suicide is typically one of two issues: (1) suicidal contemplations or (2) manipulation, coercion and guilting.  It's a serious matter and we shouldn't "play doctor", leave it to the trained emergency responders and evaluators.  Even if some of us were doctors, we probably couldn't have our spouses or ex-spouses as patients anyway.

Also, we shouldn't hold back or hide information that might make our spouse or ex look bad.  We're all adults and so are they, if there are to be consequences, let them face them.  Hiding the real story and helping them to avoid consequences doesn't help, it hurts long term - both them and us.

Courts love counseling, so my lawyer told me.  So you will not look bad if you find qualified and experienced counselors for the children.  Yes, the ex may oppose it and you may have to go to court to get it, but it will eventually happen.  The key is to ensure ex doesn't get to select unqualified, easily conned or gullible counselors.

[catnap]

Threatening suicide is typically one of two issues: (1) suicidal contemplations or (2) manipulation, coercion and guilting.  It's a serious matter and we shouldn't "play doctor", leave it to the trained emergency responders and evaluators.  Even if some of us were doctors, we probably couldn't have our spouses or ex-spouses as patients anyway.

Also, we shouldn't hold back or hide information that might make our spouse or ex look bad.  We're all adults and so are they, if there are to be consequences, let them face them.  Hiding the real story and helping them to avoid consequences doesn't help, it hurts long term - both them and us.

Courts love counseling, so my lawyer told me.  So you will not look bad if you find qualified and experienced counselors for the children.  Yes, the ex may oppose it and you may have to go to court to get it, but it will eventually happen.  The key is to ensure ex doesn't get to select unqualified, easily conned or gullible counselors.

An opportunity also to ask for primary care of the children or sole custody if she continues to deteriorate.  As ForeverDad said covering for them is not a good option. 

[livednlearned]

What happened last time she threatened or attempted suicide?

[formflier]

 

Didn't you guys do family T in the past?

I may be confusing your story with someone else