Confused, empty response

[lillian2005]

Since my last post, my fiance has been having doubts and anxiety about our Relationship and nearly every week he disregulates, i cannot handle it anymore and handle This back and Forth behavoir... .He said to me he CANT LEAVE ME and i replied You cant? But want to? He said yes. I feel like im not Worth him being positive about our Relationship even though i try my best and i point out to him That when There is no issue he creates a dramatic problem and i always try to ease everything. Today iv had enough and iv Never done This before and im clueless about his response, i sais if You dnt want This then go! He replied okay no worries then" argh im so frustrated his confusing and hard to Read. Iv been in the romantic Relationship for 7 months now strugglying and coming everything Will get better. When we are together we are the happiest then when his not around his head plays up. Im really scared if he actually backs out without trying because i cant keep accepting thèse situations maybe if i dysregulate for once he Will Snap out of it.

[patientandclear]

I would read that as: he wants reassurance that you can stick with him despite his doubts and anxieties. That you can listen to his doubts and not take them personally and not freak out and threaten to leave. Being heard about the doubts is an incredible gift you can give him, if you're able to depersonalize.

[lillian2005]

I reassure him every single day every hour he says he feels like theres no trust in the Relationship

[Loosestrife]

I reassure him every single day every hour he says he feels like theres no trust in the Relationship

You can't fix his insecurity. This will only improve if he seeks therapy. Is he willing to do this? If not you have to decide if you want to continue with this dance

[Heldfast]

My fiancée gave me one quiet hint before disappearing on me completely and running off with her ex. Get to a therapist, As soon as you can, one familiar in working with dbt. Invite him to help discuss the mutual anxieties of the upcoming wedding. Get yourself familiar with it as well. Let him know you understand how he is feeling, but you feel like maybe you'd do better talking with a professional. Good luck, and keep posting. Patience, understanding, and strength. You will need them all.

[lillian2005]

We havent spoken to each other for 17hrs. His probably waiting for me to text first. I dont know if i shouldnt contact him and test him out... .This Is the longest weve ever been. I honestly dont know whats going through his head. Most of it is cold feet.

[lillian2005]

He Will Never go to a professional iv triés

[Heldfast]

Then get yourself to one, you're going to need to marshal your resources, you're going to need help. Get it. Take care of you. I wish you so much you have no idea. Good luck, good patience, stoicism, and love. I want you to succeed in this, but truly believe the only way you'll get to a real relationship is to get started with the person you can control, you. Please take care of yourself, it's the only shot you'll have at taking care of him. Godspeed.

[lillian2005]

I will 100% get myself help i really do need it.