Bpd mom gets crazier the nicer I try to be ~

[Hostage1234]

So BPD is back on telling are son I'm not his real dad .my son is 4 still can't say a complete sentence still can't come close to going to the bathroom in a toilet and his eating is so bad.he still can't fit into a 2t and is so scared to go home to his moms.how do I make the court notice her strange boyfriend to daddy modes and her over all brainwashing?

[Hostage1234]

Also she is a waif hermit type but her mom is a witch queen totally back stabbed anyone in her way

[livednlearned]

Hi Hostage1234,

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's hard.

What kind of custody arrangement do you have right now? Have you already been through the court system to establish custody?

It sounds like your ex is engaging in parental alienation. When a parent with BPD tells the child that the bio parent is not their real parent, this is a sign of parental alienation. It also sounds like your son is suffering from serious neglect. Is there physical abuse that you know of?

[ForeverDad]

I agree with LnL.  Also, my son too seemed slow to make progress, when he was 2-3 years old I was very worried since he seemed slightly autistic - yet he was often called a bright kid.  I would encourage you to have a good relationship with his pediatrician.  Report your developmental concerns.  While they probably won't do much unless something 'actionable' is noted, at least your reports and the pediatrician's observations will get logged in your child's medical history.  That in itself is a form of documentation that may be useful later should you end up in court.

Of course, try to make your concerns to the pediatrician be as reasonable or meaningful as possible, you don't want to get labeled as a parent who is crying wolf all the time without basis.

Also, try to get your son into counseling - with a very experienced and very perceptive counselor.  Life going back and forth between two disagreeing parents sure isn't helping him.  Courts like counselors, but don't assume just any counselor will help.  The key is to have an experienced counselor to make sure the disordered parent is less likely to fool or con a gullible counselor into becoming a "negative advocate" against you.