Roanne Program

[Parents! Get help here!]

We are looking at different residential programs for our 22 year old son.  Between his age and his gender there are not that many options.  Menninger is out.  Have had really bad experiences with them.  Never got beyond Admissions.  Roanne Program looks great on paper, but haven't read many/any reviews other than testimonials that are self serving.  I so badly want to find a good fit for him that I do not have faith that I am being objective.  Any thoughts or suggestions?

[Texicali]

We are looking at different residential programs for our 22 year old son.  Between his age and his gender there are not that many options.  Menninger is out.  Have had really bad experiences with them.  Never got beyond Admissions.  Roanne Program looks great on paper, but haven't read many/any reviews other than testimonials that are self serving.  I so badly want to find a good fit for him that I do not have faith that I am being objective.  Any thoughts or suggestions?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[livednlearned]

Hi Texicali,

Welcome to the site, I'm glad you found the parenting board.

I don't have experience with residential programs, but wanted to extend a welcome and point you toward some resources in Lesson 6 (located in the side bar to the right -------> about how to pick an RTC, and a lot of other posts about member experiences. Is there any particular part of the country you are looking at?

How is your son doing now? Is he living with you? I'm so sorry you had a bad experience with Menninger already. When you feel comfortable sharing more, it would be good to hear about your experience so we can learn from what you've been through.

Do you have support to help you, for example family members or a spouse?

LnL

[Texicali]

Thank you, livednlearned.  My son lives with us.  He moved back in December.  We only recently realized that so many of his symptoms are BPD traits if not BPD itself.  This latest "crisis" occurred after he fell and ended up with concussion, which was followed by continuing falls/concussions.  After ruling out the medical, his psychiatrist thought it was a conversion disorder, but it became clear that it was actually a fictitious disorder, and that he was hurting himself.  Which led us to confirm BPD. Menninger would not take him.  Very vague and wouldn't say why.  Ultimately we found out it was because they would not treat fictitious disorder, which is hard to treat.  Ultimately, my son admitted that he was hurting himself during panic attacks but couldn't say why.  He stopped falling immediately.  We have been taking precautions to keep him physically safe which was not too difficult since he always did it in the bathroom at night. Fast forward 3 weeks when we found Rogers Memorial.  They did not have a problem with the "self-harming" but were concerned that the falling was too recent.  They were worried about being able to keep safe. So we call Menninger again 2 weeks after that (it's now been 5 weeks since he admitted to self harming and not falling).  Admissions said to send the updated records and that his progress sounded very promising.  Then they call back a few hours later and tell us not to bother and  that the admitting doctor won't even look at records.  It was such an arrogant, dismissive, condescending attitude with such lack of compassion or understanding.  I am seething but grateful that they showed their true colors before investing my family's life savings in that kind of place.

But the "well known" "established" RTC's with established reputations do not treat young adult males.  There are tons of places that say they will, but it's next to impossible to sort them out.  The Roanne program sounds like a great fit for my son, if they are who they say they are.  They've been around for a while.  I haven't found anything bad about them (other than people who are upset about the cost... .I'm not happy about that either, but I am prepared to make the sacrifice if they do what they say they can do).  I was hoping someone here might have some experience with the program. 

My husband and I are on the same page.  We've been married for 30 years and have been through a lot together.  We will just add this to the list.  It is difficult because we moved away from a very close friend and family network 3 years ago and are in a new state/city.  But we are managing. 

[Someday . . .]

Hi!  I do know of a young male (same age as your son) that had gone through the Roanne program over five years ago.   Since it's basically in an apartment building (unless it has changed) and not their own facility the amount of autonomy and freedom is huge.   The guy I know will even tell you that he had way too much freedom and not a lot of accountability.  That's just his experience . .   What I have learned in my many dealings with residential treatment facilities is that it really, really, makes a lot of sense to visit whichever facility or facilities you're thinking of sending your child to.  I learned the hard way and was out $40,000.  I took my daughter to a place in Boulder Co.  It looked like a perfect fit for her on paper.  When I left the place I was thinking "this is not the place for my daughter", it was too small, noisy and chaotic for her.  I was told that I needed to pay for six months up front.  I said that no way could I do that, so they lowered it to a minimum of three months up front.  Of course, when I had talked to them numerous times that was never mentioned and when you drive 1500 miles to take your kid there, what am I going to do, drive back home after weeks of preparation?  A month later we picked her up because it really was not the place for her.  Please learn from my experience.

[lbjnltx]

Hi Texacali,

I'm glad to see you here and looking for helpful information in choosing an RTC for your son.

I went through the RTC vetting process many years ago when looking for a place for my teen daughter.  It is an extensive process that can become confusing and overwhelming for sure.

Once I got into the search it became apparent to me that I needed to be very discerning in what I was looking for in a program. As I read through the descriptions of programs I became educated about the different styles of therapy/residential experience/ and which patients they accepted that were out there.  From this information I was able to create a check list of what aspects of a program I believed would be a good fit for my daughter.  I was able to whittle the over 100 programs down to about 6. 

My next step was to call and talk to the intake person at each RTC and fill in information on my checklist and also get a list of referral's.  This whittled it down to 4.  After talking to all the referrals I could I was able to get it down to 2.  That is when I went and visited both facilities and had meetings with the staff of each... .that is when it became apparent which one would be the best option for my daughter.  10 months later she graduated and continues to do very well.

We can help you figure out what are the most important things to look for in an RTC if you need help with that.  A lot of whether this will be a successful RTC experience will depend on your son, does he want to go into residential treatment?

Let us know.

lbjnltx

[Texicali]

Thank you!  He is very willing to go. Tired of living this way and has pushed us pretty far. He is not as ready to commit to a very long term program which is why Menninger appealed to him. He does know wherever or whatever he does do, that getting better will take a long time. He just isn't ready to be away for a long time. Yet. That could change.  That was one of the things that is appealing about Roanne because the initial commitment is 60 days but there are options for more.

He is very high functioning, until he isn't. Until a year ago he worked part time and went to school full time.  He had moments of volatility from a young age and crises from time to time but they were manageable (albeit difficult) until last year.  It's now been a full year since he has been able to function in any meaningful way for a sustained period of time and got worse with the self harming. 

The other thing I like about Roanne (on paper) is that it will address failure to launch issues so that he will be better able to transition into real life as opposed to going from an institutional completely insulated and structured environment into the real world that is nothing like it.  I am going to have to go out there and check it out for myself. Even then info from others who have been through it themselves would be great.

[lbjnltx]

I will convey to you what my daughter's psychologist told me ... .":)on't mortgage the farm for a 90 day program"... .I took that to heart.

What we are seeking for our kids is to purge entrenched thinking errors, learn completely new ways to handle emotions, learn coping skills that most learned over an 18 year period and then be willing and able to use them consistently in the outside world.  That's a lot to ask of anyone in 90 days. One of the first things most inpatient's ask is "how long do I have to stay here?"  the most honest answer is "that depends on you". 

One of the most important aspects of a program to look for is family involvement and education which also includes family visits on campus, off campus day, off campus overnight, a trial home visit weekly family therapy via telephone.  This is usually done for adolescents and may be something to ask about in any program you are considering.  Finding a program that tailors the treatment plan to the patient is another key factor.  Most RTC's have a transitional period for soon to be graduates to allow them to test their new skills out while still under the protection and support of the program.

Have you been able to find any programs that might look similar to what I am describing?

[ilusa26]

Hi Texicali,

I cant help you for the program, but i can tell you this that for any program to make a difference it takes atleast a year.

My daughter is 30, she went to california for a program, spent 3 months, than moved out and was doing intensive out patient, but had relapse, so was admitted to a dual diagnosis program. spent 9 months there nd now is doing intensive out patient.

Her behaviour is much better. has been sober for 10 months but still a ways to go before she can be productive.  hope this helps you.