Hello, Saro & I'd like to join
Crumbling and
lbjnltx in welcoming you to this site... .There are so many of us parents who know exactly what you are going through, and how tough it is to see our child being tormented by their BPD into not living the life we know they deserve. We really do understand
Ever since last winter holidays there have been a series of upsets and severed connections, the last being a row with her sister, whom she now considers lost to her. She is in rough shape, but has set a goal of June for being able to go back to a trusted therapist. I don't want to do anything to jeopardize her success, but I've already given in to demands I don't think are right, and that I worry may cause her harm in the long run.
I'm sorry she had a set-back over the last several months; my own adult (38) son was diagnosed with BPD in April 2013, and there have been several years of his being estranged from his younger brother--some were instigated by him, some by his brother. Most times he felt that there would never be a relationship with his brother again, but I can tell you that they have figured it out and are on speaking terms as of now... .
I think it's great that your daughter has a desire to see her trusted Therapist again, and setting a goal for June is good for her--try to be just supportive of that goal but not too excited or verbal about it if possible. Sometimes our child with BPD feels the pressure of pleasing us as "too much" and will then back off of their goals in order to not disappoint us one more time. At least, my son has been like that. Have you had the chance to read the
links to the right-hand side of this page yet? Every one of them will give you a great primer on how your daughter's mind works, and why she behaves the way she does.
How is she doing now? What demands have you given in to, that make you fear that you may have jeopardized her recovery? Please don't be too hard on yourself, Saro... .Everything we do for our child is in love, and sometimes we do something that, in retrosprect, was not perfect, but we are not perfect beings... .especially under the stress that comes from parenting a troubled child.
When you read the links I mentioned--and make sure you check out the Parenting Board's Feature Articles (
Here, and also under the 4 photos at the top of the
Parenting Board's thread listing page)--you'll learn how to deal with your daughter in a way that helps you and her, better. I know that learning the
TOOLS and
THE LESSONS truly helped me help my son, who is doing very well these days.
Please let us know how things are going, and read all you can on this site... .Ask your questions and continue to tell us your story; it really will help