My bf is so freaked out that he refuses to be around my D6 now until things get better. I don't know if I should feel good or bad about that! I guess I should feel good, but part of me feels like its either an excuse for him to get out... .or cheat. Around here it's been said that distance makes more distance in these relationships- and I firmly believe that is true in my case. Maybe I should just throw in the towel.
When pwBPD reconstruct reality to excuse something they do, they often go to extremes. Don't take it as a sign that he is genuinely unaware. What he does to avoid it today will not effect anything when the urge next strikes in a month or two. It can be no more than grand gesturing and wont solve the issue.
Lack of sleep could very well add to the trigger, but is not the cause. Reality and judgement gets blurred when sleep deprived. My partner used to use sleep deprivation as a form of self punishment/harm, and the result was always extreme psychotic type behavior