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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: Seeing analogies everywhere  (Read 381 times)

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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated; high-conflict divorce in process, 6 months
Posts: 13

« on: May 17, 2015, 12:45:26 AM »

Just read this in an interview by Anna Goldenberg with Philippe Sands, who is in a documentary "A Nazi Legacy: What our Fathers Did" by David Evans, in the 5-8-2015 edition of the newspaper Forward. The interview contrasts Niklas Frank and Horst von Wachter, both sons of Nazi mass murders. The former has written a book distancing himself from his father; the latter reveres his father:

"It's plain that Horst recalls a father who love him; Niklas recalls a father who didn't love him. The second variable is the relationship with the mother. It's plain that Horst adores his mother. There's a moment in the film where he says, "My mother loved my father always, and would never say anything against him." And that's not true for Niklas. The third variable, that I think is a factor, is that one is a German and one is Austrian. ... .Germany has come to terms with its past, Austria has not... .I think Horst has been able to grow up in an environment where he's not been confronted with the realities of what happened, whereas Niklas in Germany really had to work this out."

Reading this set off all sort of reverbarations in my mind; not least the guilt for even thinking in terms of comparing an alienating parent to the Nazis. But for now I'll just say that thinking of the difference between Germany and Austria makes me think of the "bystander" effect, where an alienating parent gets support from one or more bystanders who reinforce their world view. One they'll take with them to their grave.

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