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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Calls, Triggers, Again  (Read 416 times)
JayApril
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 113


« on: May 22, 2015, 12:48:56 AM »

 I was thinking of taking another parenting course, that they offer at my moms work. My mother a T suggested that my ex take a parenting course as well. I told my mom that I do not think he has an interest in parenting. I also told her that he claims to be in counselling but, shows no signs of it. He also refuses to answer any questions about. My ex does a thing when he is exposed in a lie... .he either ignores it, or starts an argument to distract you from the truth.

She said to ask if he is comfortable sharing his diagnosis (if was not lying) with me, or if his counselor can give him some study tools such as books to help us co-parent.

So I emailed my BpdX, and he said parenting classes was great and that he would look into a parenting class.

I replied. Good, gave him the info. Explained his odd behavior to him briefly. And said I was serious about the study tools from his counselling. He asked exact words "So how is the baby?

Just want too see him if that is not too much too ask."(ignoring the counselling subject)

I thought he was talking about visitation.

I told him at anytime he feels he wants to see our son is fine.

He replied that he was not talking about visitation, just pictures. So I sent him one, stating that he did not seem concerned about visiting our son. I asked when he planned to visit. He replied upset saying is this the only picture I am going to get? (Ignoring my statement & question) I ended our conversation because I felt a trigger to argue coming on and replied... .It seems like you are getting upset. I will talk to you later. He then calls me afterwards from a different number going on about something in a different tone than in the emails. Thank God my son was crying, because I used it as an excuse to get off the phone. Afterwards, he called my phone eight times after I blocked him for the third time with a third different number.  It seems like no matter what I do it triggers him in some way.
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