What do you have to say for yourselves that says you are worth it?

[Samuel S.]

We as nonBPDs can be continuously confronted with negativity brought to us by our BPDs due to their own insecurities. That has led us to this part of this website. We do our best to live in such a situation, but let's face it. It is extremely challenging, no matter how much we know they are wrong. I suggest for this post, that you post your validations of yourselves as to what you are doing that are personally inspiring and/or professionally helpful. This can help you see for yourselves and for others on this post that you are worth it. It can help you feel better, especially if you are down and out. So, what are your positive compliments about yourselves? What do you have to say for yourselves that says you are worth it? This is not bragging. This is a means to help you live for yourselves and for a better today and a better tomorrow, with or without your BPD. This can be a way to generate strength and hope along with the guidance of the lessons here along with venting.

[Thread]

Bravo  

I started my own business in the relationship

He takes a good amount of credit, however I started it during our separation, while I was working full time.

I work hard.

I have good close friends and thank God have not lost them through this.

I haven't relied on bad things to fill the hurt, which I see would be easy to do and am lucky that I haven't over shopped, had eating issues, drugs, alcohol, I guess in that sense I feel a little bit strong.

Netflix is my greatest addiction I suppose and I'm writing this as a pro

I am talented

I am creative

Apart from his words towards me I AM SMART AS HECK!

I have a lifetime of experiences that people wait to do when they retire

because I AM DETERMINED

I treat our clients well and create solid relationships

I still continue to give to others and show love and care

I persevere

When I put my mind to something 90% of the time I do it

I am stronger than I realize

Amazingly people on the outside think this chick has her stuff together.

So I guess I'm glad I can pull myself together to the outside world  

[Samuel S.]

Hanging, I applaud and validate what you are feeling and what you are doing. You definitely are making a difference for yourself and for others. I also find it interesting because I am like you in that so many of my friends and family members think I am so with it or don't know how I am able to tolerate my situation with my BPDw, at least for now. Indeed, you and I have a lot of strength, care, respect, and love. 

[OnceConfused]

Repetition is the key as Aristotle said:

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

For me , when I wanted to get out from the R.S with the xBPDgf, I could not as my attachment was stronger then my will. To overcome the attachment, I listened to the same motivational tapes for 2 weeks straight, during driving to and from work, before bed, while I was at the putting green ... .  I let those words of wisdom reverberated in my brain and my subconscious mind, until one day I finally understood that I would not be happy ever if I stayed. That helped me looking her straight in the eyes and said , good bye and walked out.

Here are the 2 cd that I suggested you get from amazon.com : (about 8$ a piece, way cheaper than 1 session with a T)

1. Staying the path by Dr,. Wayne Dyer

2. 101 ways of transforming yourself.

Essentially, they are mostly lots of 1 liner of wisdom which we can remember and regurgitate to ourselves.

IN fact, 8 years later, I am still going back to these CDs every so often to remind me of those words of wisdom and most importantly what I must do EVERY DAY.

Here is a link to 101 ways to transform your life

www.scribd.com/doc/14146980/101-Way-to-Transform-Your-Life#scribd

Like they say, "you cannot fly high like an eagle, if you keep hanging round turkeys"

If we surround ourselves with negativism and negative people then we will be negative. So to have  a positive outlook in life, we have to surround ourselves with positive people, positive reminder ... .

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Samuel S.,

It's taken me a long time to understand that my self-worth comes from within, and that I'm already worthy without the need for external confirmation.  I used to link my happiness w/positive feedback from my BPDxW, which was dangerous, because her views were wildly unpredictable and unreliable.  In this sense, I used to let my Outside determine my Inside; now, I strive to let my Inside define my Outside, if that makes sense.  A long-term marriage to a pwBPD did a real number on my sense of self.  I've had to re-learn to love and accept myself, which I have.

LuckyJim

[Cmjo]

Thankyou for the suggestion of writing about the positive stuff in our lives... .!

I can forget but I try to be always forgiving

I give 150% to my children's emotial needs, to compensate from the lack of emotional support they receive from BPD dad.

I give 150% to my job as a lawyer and since leaving BPDh have created my own successful law firm

I look after myself, keep fit eat and sleep well and give myself the strenght to get through every day and be a role model for my kids.

Ok thats enough of being positive for one day!