Update: Met with ex so he could see daughter

[NewLife15]

I met with my ex so he could see our daughter again (Whole story in other post).Trying to make sure I'm doing everything the way I should.

He actually only spent time with her and didn't harass me at all. I'm confused. Not sure if he has something up his sleeve or to trust that maybe he realizes I meant it when I said its over. The texts have also stopped. Not sure if this behavior will last or if its another front. Just so confused... .

[ForeverDad]

Did he get a lawyer or did he have a session with a therapist?  It's possible someone pointed him toward better behaviors?  Or I guess he could have figured out that priority on his own.  Whatever the case, it doesn't mean it will be smooth going from now on.

I recall when I first separated I was in a daze.  I eventually started listening to my ex's exclamations.  I expected to hear the self-centered, "I need my son!"  But I was surprised to hear the better, "My son needs me!"  Of course, she consistently said "my son" rather than "our son" so she still had skewed possessive perceptions and attitudes.  The custody evaluator's initial report to the court noted in its summary, "Mother cannot share 'her' child but father can."

[NewLife15]

He hasn't seen a therapist, and I'm not sure about the lawyer. He sent me a picture showing me a bunch of info and "proving" he had a lawyer but it didn't look legit. I'm just trying to make sure I'm not going to fall for anything that's not going to be permanent.

[ForeverDad]

I'm wondering whether he could have been reading your posts that lamented him not giving the child attention.  Is there any way he would know about this site?

This Family Law board and a few more of the boards here are viewable only by logged-in members.  We don't allow SearchBots to view these member-only boards.  So generally it is safe to post anonymously.  Did you select a user name that he might recognize or search for?  Are you using a computer he could have had access to and compromised by adding a keylogger program to copy or echo your actions and screens elsewhere?

We have a FAQ you can review here:

Frequently Asked Technical Questions

which links to various security topics including:

Can I be found out?

[NewLife15]

I don't believe he has any kind of access and my username is nothing like I've ever used before. I don't think he could hack into my computer... .Hopefully!

[Nope]

Just because he acted one way once doesn't mean it's the new normal. Everybody is capable of having a good day once in a blue moon. Though I agree it usually signals an agenda of some kind. There have been times when my kid's BPD bio mom has not given us a hard time when we've expected she would and that's been because her focus was on something (or someone) else and it wouldn't have benefited her to get what she would normally have felt entitled to.

It's also entirely possible he was giving you what you wanted to prove to you it isn't really what you want. That game will get old for him real quick.

[NewLife15]

My daughter and I were out of town this weekend and he texted the friend we were with and apologized to her for anything he had ever done that was out of the way and asked for her forgiveness and thanked her for loving his family the way she does. UGH! I believe he only wrote her because he knew she would read it to me. This is the same friend he wanted to choke only 2 months ago and she has a son (4) that he was telling D3 to punch if he hurt her, even on accident. Also found out this weekend that he messaged some friends of ours that live about 3 hours away and we don't talk to regular and told them "the whole story" about how I left over him taking a few pills to help his back. SICK of the lies!

[catnap]

My daughter and I were out of town this weekend and he texted the friend we were with and apologized to her for anything he had ever done that was out of the way and asked for her forgiveness and thanked her for loving his family the way she does. UGH! I believe he only wrote her because he knew she would read it to me. This is the same friend he wanted to choke only 2 months ago and she has a son (4) that he was telling D3 to punch if he hurt her, even on accident. Also found out this weekend that he messaged some friends of ours that live about 3 hours away and we don't talk to regular and told them "the whole story" about how I left over him taking a few pills to help his back. SICK of the lies!

Would they be willing to send you the messages?  Your L maybe able to use that to trip him up because they lie so frequently they cannot keep track of the 'storyline'.

[NewLife15]

I know she would! Thanks Catnap, I didn't think about that!