Need thought? Please

[jcl76]

I have BPD

I am trying to see clearly regarding my ex.

Here is the back story.

I met this girl a year ago, and we had a great first connection, that was and spent a lot of time in the first few weeks, but we both traveled for a little while and it went to the friend zone. We still hung out as friends but she wanted more and I couldnt commit. Fast forward 4 months of this I started to come around and we had sex for a while, but I still couldnt give her full commitment.

Well Had to leave town again for a while and she was upset so she said she went on a date.which I did get jealous and confessed that, which she said its too late in the game although it was 3 days! She had to move on. Well I did the big no no, and told her I am ready and I didnt realize what I had and took it for granted. I had it great, had my cake and ate it to. I regret it

So we argued and play the push and pull game for 4 weeks while we should have just givin each other space. She continued to date (although rebounds hardly work)

Now last week afer 3 weeks we started texting. Good banter and humor (which why we connected so well), even some sexual banter while I know she is still dating I had some hope. I am gone now again for 6 weeks, and again the timing is wrong. Well I finally opened up after she didnt respond to my text all weekend knowing she was with another guy which bothered me.

I told her how I felt and she said she couldnt see anything with us right now, although she said we could hang out all summer when I get back. She said she wanted to be friends and she wanted to see what is out there and figure what she wants and actually see if can find "that connection we had"... .I said well I cant offer a friendship if she is with anyone becasue I wanted to give it a fair chance. I said can I call you, and she said there is no reason if I cant be friends. Well I called anyway and well talked (she knows i am stubborn) and had a long talk which reiterated she doesnt have those feelings and doesnt know what the future will be like if she gets them back. I tild her we should atleast give it a fair chance and be on the same page. I told her that I needed this time away to work on my issues and needed space and said this is even better for the next 6 weeks to think about it.

SO I think this is a positive. She said would be completely open to hanging out in 6 weeks to see what transpires, and although she didnt want to talk, she said I am glad you called still.

I hate not knowing although we talked thinking that I still dont know what is going through her mind. Opinions?

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