Separation agreement - process?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I wonder how is the process and cost of the separation agreement handled in your case?

My stb BPDH unilaterally decided I'm responsible for the separation agreement and then demanded some unreasonable terms. I never agreed to be solely responsible and told him repeatedly it needs two people to share info and agree, and that his demands are not acceptable. My case should have been very straight forward since there are no kids and it was a very short marriage, except for his unreasonable demands and the fact that he owes me a significant sum of money that he's reducing / delaying repayment.

From my initial consultations, lawyers are eager to initiate the separation agreement... .But I'm questioning if I initiate the document and he makes all sorts of unreasonable demands/changes and drags out the process, my legal cost can easily go through the roof, since I already have to incur legal cost to try to recover my own money. I'm more than fair and reasonable - if he drafts it and I respond to it we'd be done in no time!

What are your experience? And advice on how to make sure stbx BPDH has skin in the game during the process so it's not just a waste of my resources?

[Safe]

I wonder how is the process and cost of the separation agreement handled in your case?

My stb BPDH unilaterally decided I'm responsible for the separation agreement and then demanded some unreasonable terms. I never agreed to be solely responsible and told him repeatedly it needs two people to share info and agree, and that his demands are not acceptable. My case should have been very straight forward since there are no kids and it was a very short marriage, except for his unreasonable demands and the fact that he owes me a significant sum of money that he's reducing / delaying repayment.

From my initial consultations, lawyers are eager to initiate the separation agreement... .But I'm questioning if I initiate the document and he makes all sorts of unreasonable demands/changes and drags out the process, my legal cost can easily go through the roof, since I already have to incur legal cost to try to recover my own money. I'm more than fair and reasonable - if he drafts it and I respond to it we'd be done in no time!

What are your experience? And advice on how to make sure stbx BPDH has skin in the game during the process so it's not just a waste of my resources?

[ForeverDad]

This is a separation agreement as initial part of a divorce, right?  How long was the marriage?  No children from the marriage?

Sadly, any agreement he controlled would be far too generous to him and far too unfair to you.

Lawyers who suggest settlements early in a high conflict divorce are probably ones qualified for filing forms, hand holding and little more.  Sounds like you need to seek out more qualified attorneys.  (Ask the ones you interview who they would use if they were facing a high conflict divorce themselves.  If you start hearing the same names, then you have your short list of potential candidates.)

Odds are that you would get a better temporary order from the court than something he would 'agree' to.  Though most divorces, even ours, end in a settlement, it almost always is reached only at the end of the divorce process when the stbEx has no control or wiggle room left.