Hi Butterfly Girl
Thanks for introducing yourself. Welcome to bpdfamily
You clearly have been through a lot with your son. Being the mother of a child with BPD can be quite challenging indeed. He's been officially diagnosed so at least you do know what you're dealing with. You've taken your son to counseling and the therapist, did he ever get targeted treatment for his BPD such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)?
Today I am reading out for help because he is getting violent. When I say no to requests for money he trashes my apartment and once he hit me.
This part of your post I find very concerning. Do you feel safe around him? Perhaps it will help to take a look at some information we have here about creating a crisis safety plan:
Crisis Safety Plan: When a family member has Borderline Personality DisorderTake care