First post in a long time

[seekinglight]

I read here at least once a week, but haven't posted in almost a year.

Our Eva has been gone 3 and a half years. A day does not pass but I think of her. The pain changes but roars back at unexpected moments. The milestones still sear, this year would have been her college graduation if she followed the expected path. I try not to dwell on the might of Been's, it hurts too much.

I do want to state that the lessons learned through dealing with Eva have made my life better. I am a better parent to our son, a better listener, a better person to myself. The hard earned reality that I cannot change another person, even a beloved one, tempers my innate desire to bend the world to my liking. It cannot be done.

So taking care of myself and letting other's find their truth are unexpected gifts my Eva gave me.

We go to our cabin in Canada soon to the spot we spread Eva's ashes. It doesn't get easier but she is at peace in a breathtakingly beautiful and tranquil setting. I pray for all the parents I have never met but know here that peace may come, and your children thrive.❤️

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[madmom]

Bless your heart, what a beautiful post---so thought provoking.  Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[kelti1972]

seekinglight:


Thank you so much for sharing your strength and hope for all of us struggling and learning.  My heart is with you.  I cannot imagine your pain and grief and what you have gone through.  I have lost a spouse, mother at four years old, sister, my entire family abandonded me because I told the "family secret" and I have also lost three more siblings to death, that I never even knew.  Yet losing a child has got to be the most painful of all.  Bless you always and you will see her again, I really believe that and I believe she is with you always in spirit.  God bless!   Kelti

P.s.  I have also learned the lesson of not being able to bend another to your liking.  It has been and still is a hard, but very wonderful lesson in life.  It really brings us humility and a softness to accept others as they are and the path they are meant to take. 

[lbjnltx]

Hello Seekinglight,

It is comforting to me to know that you are still here with us, reading and making a post.  It tells my heart that you are traveling with me as I support my daughter into her adult life and continue to love her just as she is while praying and hoping she will continue to grow and develop in maturity.

When my daughter was in RTC she made a piece of art and titled it "We are All Connected", it hangs in a prominent place in my home.  I believe this is true, we are brought together by this disorder and bound together by the multitude of feelings and desires that come with loving our children with BPD.

Thanks for continuing to be here for me, for all of us seekinglight.



lbj

[twojaybirds]

And I pray that you have found your own peace in a journey you never anticipated.

[qcarolr]

Seekinglight

thank you for sharing your love and grief. The blessings are powerful that come from tragedy. I do believe this.

qcr