Grown daughter won't get a job

[katboomac]

Hello. I am ,62 and disabled, my husband is 65 and his only income is SS. Our 42 year old daughter and 18 yr old grandson moved in with us Sept 2014. She sleeps all day, has had a severe sleep disorder for years. She cannot sleep at night . Even if she stays awake for 24 hours she only gets sleepy when the sun comes up... She lost her last jobs due to inability to show up to work due to lack of sleep. Sometimes she had been ot drinking the night before. She had her good high paying jobs in the past. She had one husband walk out on her leaving her and 2 sons with no income.The  last husband was kicked out due to being abusive while on drugs. She has lost her house due to not working before moving in with us. She acts like she has her head in the sand. She tells us she emails her resume to multiple jobs daily but doesn't follow up on the interviews she gets. She has zero income, no insurance. How can we get help for her? Also she has had even more traumatic events occur that I have not mentioned.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[livednlearned]

Hi katboomac,

Welcome to the site   I'm sorry your family is going through a crisis right now, trying to support your daughter and grandson on very little income that must be hard to stretch for a family of four.

Has your D had this sleep disorder diagnosed by someone? It sounds like her sleep issues are not helping her situation. How would you describe your relationship with her?

How is your grandson doing? Does he have plans to work?

I hope you'll keep posting and let us know how you're doing.

LnL

[madmom]

I too would like to welcome you.     My what a pickle you are in.  It must be so difficult to sort out all of the issues and figure out what to work on first.   A couple of things came to mind and I don't know you or your child, so I don't know if they will work or not.   Do you have a health/ mental health clinic or facility near you that is income based where your daughter could get the care and therapy she needs?  Would she be willing to go?  If she can't sleep at night, is she willing to find a job that is on a night time shift?  I would encourage you to think about what your goals are for yourself, and your loved ones.  Take the time to read through and study the tools and lessons you see on the right hand side of the page.   This should give you some skills for talking and negotiating with your daughter about the situation you all are in.   Most of all I want you to know there is hope and that you are not alone.  You will find so much help and support here.   Please keep coming back and telling us more of your story and what we can help you with.  Best wishes

[Butterflygirl]

I am a retired single parent. My son is 44. I take care of him because he is ill both mentally and physically. I dream every night that he would drop dead. I suppose this depression will pass but I am so tired of him not being able to work, but not quite qualifying for disability. If you can hang in there I will. Good luck with your daughter. Do what you can to force the issue so you don't end up like me.