introduction

[DadOfThree]

Hello all,

So this is my second introduction.  My very stalkerish xBPDw found my prior post about 2 years ago and terrorized me abot it so I never came back to this site.

I live near Niagara Falls, am a high level executive professiona, have three teenage kids, the appearance of a normal suburban life.  But I have a diagnosed paranoid-personality and borderline personality disordered spouse and our 4+ year divorce just got finalized this week.  The terms basicaly split the kids up : 1 primarily with me, 1 primarily with her and 1 basically shared.  All visit each other equally.  Except the eldest is a commuiting college student and wishes to live with the mom.

Here is the horrible part of it all - we are still living together and both of us insinuated that we would like to stay that way longer than the court specified weeks.  

So, I have two really tough problems with it:  I am coming to the realization that I am addicted to this situation and this person.

So, We are divorced, living together and acting like not much has changed.  The "addiction" withdrawal symptoms I have are pretty severe and my eldest child is absolutely suffering from the split-up so I am trying to make that life transition as gentle as possible and do it at their pace.

 So, thats my current situation.  I have an excellent therapist with extensive experience with BPD and BPD families but, to be honest and transparent:  I don't want anyone (xBPDw or kids) to leave the house.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[vortex of confusion]

 

Welcome back to the forums!

It sounds like you have some great support.

I can understand wanting to keep everyone living in the same house for logistical reasons. I have 4 kids and the thought of my husband and I trying to parent from separate households is not a thought that I want to entertain.

Do you have a specific question about staying that you want to ask?

How long has it been since you reviewed the lessons?

My husband and I haven't done anything about divorcing. We have been very off again/on again while in the relationship. Have you focused on trying to be friends with your ex wife? Whether you stay living together or not, you are still going to have to communicate with each other because of the kids, etc.