Treatment ultimatum

[Darsha500]

Here's my story.

Broke up with my BPD gf a few days ago. This is our 4th breakup. I've been reading the journey from abandonment to healing, and have been going through the grieving process hard.

I've especially been experiencing the withdrawal symptoms: Wanting her back so much despite all of the emotional turmoil. Holding onto hope despite evidence that all hope is in vain, that nothing is going to change. Im so exhausted from it all.

I went no contact. But apparently she has allot of email addresses I don't know about, because she got one through today. She wants to work it out. Now, despite all my conviction that the relationship is doomed, I am wavering.

All I can think about now is this possibility of offering a sort of ultimatum: our relationship is doomed if she doesn't start doing dbt. See, even as I type that I think, how naive are you? But I am holding out hope. What if it has an impact?, what if putting out that ultimatum becomes the catalyst for change?

I realize, here, that my motivation is questionable. This is me clinging onto this dysfunctional relationship. This is me going through withdrawal. This is me afraid of grieving. I feel idiotic.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Darsha500,  I think it's normal to seek relief from the pain of withdrawal.  The question you might want to ask yourself is whether you are seeking some short-term relief in order to avoid the real issue, which is whether this r/s is right for you.  Only you can figure this out.  Many of us here, including me, have recycled many times.  The issue is whether, by recycling, you are only postponing the inevitable and making it that much harder to leave somewhere down the line.  Again, only you can figure this out.  Suggest you listen to your gut feelings, not your rational/analytical mind.  What is the right path for you?

LuckyJim