Does my d have BPD

[JustAMum]

My d is 17 has self harmed to the extreme where she required stitches twice and has tried to OD. Her psych said she is presenting as BPD. She doesn't fly into rages, is able to sustain relationships and is doing well at school. She also has a small casual job at a pizza place and volunteers at an animal shelter. When I have discussed my d with my own psych he said that he doesn't think she has BPD because she is too high functioning. She is impulsive and does have emotional dysregulation although this is slowly getting better. She's been in therapy for 3yrs. We have had long periods of calm. She's on 40mg of Prozac. She has engaged in high risk behaviour in the past. Does this sound like BPD? Does BPD have differing levels?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[js friend]

Hi JustAMum,

From what i have read and experienced myself their are different levels of high  pwBPDs. I would say that my dd is definitley low functioning. She has tried college 4 times before quitting, has only had 1 job for 6weeks before she was sacked, and has no close relationships with family or friends because of her rages.

On the otherhand dd's dad has always held a job and does well in the work place and is very qualified in his profession. He has close friends from years ago and is pretty close to his family, many who have never experienced his rages. Both dd and her dad btw dont self harm, but what they have in common is that they always blame others, they lie at the drop of a hat, they both have a self serving nature, they have an inability to handle stress or deal with any form criticism or anothers opinion that differs from their own, the unpredictability their moods and they both are very immature on an emotional level.

It is great that your dd is in therapy.My dd wont try it as she says there is nothing wrong with her and it is everyone else who is the problem.

Try to enjoy the moments of calm when you can JustaMum. Enjoy this time and get as much rest as you can as it sounds like your dd is doing pretty well at the moment. I remember all too well that at that age my dd was a complete nightmare and my nerves were fried.!

Anyway back to your question... .I think overall it is how they present in society whether they are high or low functioning.In my case dd cannot function in society on a daily basis without some form of breakdown whereas dd dad is pretty good at holding it together when it is needed wearing and only revealing his true self to those closest to him.

[JustAMum]

Thanks for the reply js friend. I am embracing this period of calm. I just hope it lasts. My d is also emotionally immature. She also doesn't cope well with stress. She is going into her final year of school and the stress of her final year worries me. Her psychologist is going on maternity leave for 3months. I'm also hoping that she can cope in that time. She also sees a psych so her appointments with him might have to be more frequent. Parenting her through the teen years has been really difficult. I'm also hoping that once she finishes school it gets easier?

[pessim-optimist]

Hello JustAMum,

Diagnosing BPD is not as easy as diagnosing say, hepatitis. It's not an easy question of yes, she is ill, no, she isn't. The professionals that diagnose BPD asses their patients for 9 criteria and to be officially diagnosed, the patient has to meet at least 5 out of the 9.

So what happens if the patient has 4 out of 9? They still have lots of problems, but don't qualify for the diagnosis. There is also a large scale of severity of each problem behavior/symptom and a vast number of possible combinations of their symptoms. So the individuals w/BPD can differ greatly from one to another.

For us as lay people, the most important thing isn't an official diagnosis per se, but the question of our loved-ones problematic behaviors, or their lack of coping skills, and how we can help them overcome those deficits in day-to day functioning.

Whether your daughter has BPD or not, or is on her way to developing it, she will benefit from your improved knowledge about the disorder and from your skills in dealing with her troubling behaviors. We are here to support you in learning more so you can better support your daughter, and also as a support for you personally when the going gets tough.

[JustAMum]

Thankyou for the reply. It's nice to know that I can come here for support. I've had very little support up till now. When the going has gotten tough I've had to deal with it mainly on my own.