Introduction

[Ever Hopeful]

Hello, I'm so glad to have found this site.  I am here because we have a 28 year old son with BPD.  His life is a train wreck and it's just such a painful roller-coaster for the whole family.  I'm here for support and valuable information that I can tell I'll find on this site on how to best deal with him and my own emotions/actions.  I want so much to help him but also don't want to make the situation worse by doing the wrong thing.  I just wanted to say hi.  I've got a lot of reading to do here.  This seems like a great site.  I also hope to learn how to better deal with the core sadness and depression I (and my husband) go through whenever his life takes a downturn (job lost, arrest, etc... .).  It's so hard to watch him go through life with this disorder.  Thankfully we are on fairly good terms with him and we are able to be supportive (hopefully without enabling his poor behavior).  We want to learn more.  We are sad.  Today he lost his 4th job in the last 2 years.  This is hard.   

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[solidstate]

Hi there- my daughter is also 28, I've witnessed many job losses and legal issues too.

I think what you point out is so true: how do you define the difference between support and enabling? I know, we are never supposed to do for people what they could do for themselves.

With the constant habit of shooting herself in the foot, I honestly don't know what she can do.

I'm new also and see there is a lot of information that should help. Best of luck to us all   

[lbjnltx]

Hello Ever Hopeful,

I'm so glad you are here!  It seems that you are in a very good position to have a positive impact on your son and have the right mindset and attitude to improve your own well being through education and skills.   

I look forward to working with you and helping where I am able.


lbjnltx