ExBPD just hit me with a temporary restraining order, court date soon to make it permanent. In it she claims a lot of straight lies... .
In her world-view she has to make you look worse than her. The projection/transference is sadly so predictable.
Should I bend way over and kiss my a** goodbye because BPDs are such great liars? If so I might just skip the court date and just move.
She's doing this to smear my name more and she is asking for more property.
No, you don't walk away. You can't. She's accused you of violence, DV. If you don't contest it and court it with the Facts and your firm Denial, then what if she takes the credibility of such an order and tries to get some sort of criminal case against you? You can't risk it getting worse.
Inaction isn't avoiding doing something. Inaction is a choice. I'm sure you're speaking from frustration, shock and whatever.
You do have documentation, use it well. Some may have little legal effect on the case. For example, her recorded saying she could be violent may be considered immaterial to her claim that you were aggressive and abusive. Her contemplations don't prove she was the aggressive and abusive one. However, it is needed anyway, it can help weaken her claims.
If you can prove enough of her claims and details are outright false then the rest of her claims can be viewed as less credible and suspect. For example, her claiming the time since the break-up was 3 times longer than it really was is a reflection on how black she has painted you, it skewed her sense of time. If that is
Frankly, I too had TPOs leveled against me in the early days of my separation. It got me so peeved but I had to stay calm. My lawyer even turned to me one time and said that if the civil court judge decided I could be impacted for up to 5 years. Since we shared a child, that was scary. Since I also had a divorce case over in family court, I did make a deal but it firmly limited the damage... .son was removed from the TPO... .parenting was to be handled over in family court instead... .father did not admit to any of the claims... .there was no 'finding' (of guilt)... .the parties would stay away
from each other... .the agreement would end before the end of the year... .the order could not be extended.
She is trying to put you on the defense. Walking away would possibly encourage her
and enable her to continue. I don't know if you can get it dismissed, probably so, but at the least try to shift the case from having you as a flaming red target to one of
mutual 'stay away'.
One aspect of your legal argument could be that what she's complaining about is, by her own account, long ago. Whether it is 'actionable' or not, I don't know. Most courts don't want to delve into older or legally 'stale' issues, typically limiting older claims only for establishing a
historical pattern. If you haven't had any contact for 6 months then all the judge might rule on is whether your presence on her street was threatening and triggered the court action? So definitely do prove that what you were doing on the street was (1) incidental while posting lost pet flyers (2) not threatening and (2) not directed at her.
BTW It would be smart to avoid passing her residence from now on, whether the temp order continues or not. Clearly you trigger her, better to not make yourself a more convenient target.
