watching a train wreck in slow motion

[stepmomma]

It's been awhile since I posted. I have two step-daughters with borderline. When I first came here we were in crisis with the 19 year old. Now I'm here about our 20 year old. She has always engaged in risky behavior. Recently she started working at a strip club, she was working at the front desk for awhile but now she has informed us that she is going to start dancing because the money is good but she is actually really excited about it too. She says she knows her dad and a lot of other people will be disappointed but she sees it differently. She doesn't take or ask for our advice for anything, we've learned that it doesn't matter what we say she will do what she does. I told her to be careful and that was it, I didn't know what else to say. It wasn't a surprise but we always hope she will make better decisions. She has a substance abuse problem and she has lost custody of her daughter yet nothing seems to motivate her to change her behavior, she just keeps sinking lower.

I sit here thinking about this situation feeling hopeless and sad. There is nothing that we can do but I guess I'm turning to you all to ask the question anyway... .Is there anything we can do?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[twojaybirds]

You sound so sad and respectfully so.

Take care of yourself.  Renew your spirits with things that bring you pleasure. Don't perseverate on the things you cannot control through radical acceptance.

Continue to use the communication you are using with your dd so it remains opens, without judgment nor guilt.

You have a beautiful life waiting for you to enjoy.  Don't let that pass you by.