My BPDxW's lawyer - Discovery Process

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

My BPDxW's lawyer sent me a letter demanding 2 years worth of financials.  I have 30 days to respond.  He sent the letter post marked Sept 1st.  He demands delivery Oct 1st.  I got the letter Sept 2nd.  I'm thinking I'm not going to deliver till the Oct 2nd... and even then, I'm going to mail it.  535 pages. 

Other part of me is thinking I'll just wait till judge orders me to comply.

He did this couple of years ago after he subpoenaed such records. I said he had subpoenaed them and to go pound sand.  I never heard back.  Part of me thinks he's doing the same now.  Just messing with me since I'm Pro Per.

This is CA.

Any advice?

[madison46]

My BPDxW's lawyer sent me a letter demanding 2 years worth of financials.  I have 30 days to respond.  He sent the letter post marked Sept 1st.  He demands delivery Oct 1st.  I got the letter Sept 2nd.  I'm thinking I'm not going to deliver till the Oct 2nd... and even then, I'm going to mail it.  535 pages. 

Other part of me is thinking I'll just wait till judge orders me to comply.

He did this couple of years ago after he subpoenaed such records. I said he had subpoenaed them and to go pound sand.  I never heard back.  Part of me thinks he's doing the same now.  Just messing with me since I'm Pro Per.

This is CA.

Any advice?

[enlighten me]

I got things like this all the time. I was working abroad and would receive an email from her lawyer demanding that I provide the information within a set time. My reply would be I do not have it available and will sort it out on my return to the UK. I would then receive more demands which I would ignore. All of these important must have now documents weren't the priority that the lawyer made out as it still got dragged out for another year.

Whenever I was asked to produce something I would demand the same from my ex. I know its petty but in a way I hoped it would make her see that it wasn't a one sided process and whatever she felt she was entitled to so was I. I also knew there were things that she didn't want to come out about her finances.

[ForeverDad]

Your lawyer should know how critical it is to return them withing the specified time period.  My experience in my family court was that the fine or jail threat is, in practice, quite toothless.  Then again, neither lawyer pursued submission issues with the magistrate.

Have you made corresponding requests or subpoenas for information?

This may suggest a tactic to maneuver leverage (more likely to work if the ex wants your disclosures)... .Have your lawyer reply, "My client has prepared the response to your interrogatories or financial requests.  I will hold them pending the EXCHANGE of our respective responses."  It puts the pressure back onto the other lawyer, as in, put up or shut up.  That said, it doesn't prevent the other side from replying with 'I don't know', 'I don't remember', 'I don't have it', 'not applicable', etc.

This speaks to our Nice Guy or Nice Gal normal sense that we must always 'comply' or face consequences.  In court there are often minimal consequences, if any, yet we feel so pressured to comply with every little detail.  I'm just saying that saying "we are ready to exchange data" shouldn't be viewed as a refusal to send or comply, though I'm not a lawyer of course.  But at least we won't feel as victimized by the system.

Disclaimer:  During my divorce neither party requested interrogatories.  It was only when I was seeking custody a couple years later that her lawyer made the request.  I must admit my lawyer was not proactive.  I compiled the data (what wasn't answered "N/A" and sent some 600+ pages.  Since her lawyer wasn't responding to our lawyer's calls, he sent out interrogatories to her lawyer.  We got nothing.  Nothing!  If my lawyer had sent a response, "We have the data you requested, let's set up the exchange" then at least I wouldn't feel it turned out so unfair.

[madison46]

Your lawyer should know how critical it is to return them withing the specified time period.  My experience in my family court was that the fine or jail threat is, in practice, quite toothless.  Then again, neither lawyer pursued submission issues with the magistrate.

Have you made corresponding requests or subpoenas for information?

I don't have lawyer at the moment.  I'm awaiting a request for atty fees.  She makes double what I make so she'll have to pay.  

I did sit down, download the Microsoft Word template with all the line numbers on the document, copy word for word his wording, added a request of mine, and had a co-worker serve her.

If they don't pursue it, I won't.  It doesn't matter.  He's just trying to harass.  Anyway, I'm suppose to deliver the paper pile in an hour and I'm at work, so that isn't happening.  Besides, in an hour is 29 days and I get 30 to respond.  Tomorrow I MIGHT mail them.

[ForeverDad]

My lawyer thought that her lawyer was just trying to show he did something.  I *think* the court would not jump on you, or not very much, if your response was to ask for the information to be exchanged.  From what most members here report, a lot of mayhem is allowed in domestic court.  It's said that the court expects heightened emotions and some conflict but also expects it to dissipate over time.  Three years?  By now your court ought to be getting very peeved with whoever is causing the excessive delays.  Or you could help the court get peeved at the obstructive party.

If push came to shove then you could explain to the court that exchanging was the only way subpoenas would work for both parties without repeated returns to court to maybe enforce reciprocal response.  If they really need your information, then that's "Leverage".  There is real risk that once you send it off then your leverage to get anything reciprocal from her is gone.  You can reciprocate, a pwBPD or some other acting-out PD won't.

[madison46]

You can reciprocate, a pwBPD or some other acting-out PD won't.

Exactly.  That and the 11month delay in getting the MSA that was poisoned pill is my stance.  That and that the Lawyer didn't even show in court the last time.

thanks, I appreciate the insight