His "friend" has BPD

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

   I learned that my ex has someone who has BPD as well.  My ex told me they are "just friends"  but he said she stays overnight with him, so I doubt that.  This person is very unstable and has a history of broken relationships, yet I feel jealous.  I am wondering ---

-----My ex and I have no kids together, and there is no reason for him to lie to me, yet I think they are more than friends... .why would he lie?

------I am jealous and thinking that maybe things will "work out" with them yet he has a history of broken relations and so does she. I hope this is unrealistic feelings/thoughts on my part... I am trying to remember that feelings do not always equal facts. So just because I fear they will work out doesn't mean they will.

-----WHat would the attraction be between 2 people with BPD?  The instability in each other?  I would think a BPD would at least do a bit better with a more stable person, not a less stable one!

Thank you for any feedback or similar experience.

[shatra]

   I learned that my ex has someone who has BPD as well.  My ex told me they are "just friends"  but he said she stays overnight with him, so I doubt that.  This person is very unstable and has a history of broken relationships, yet I feel jealous.  I am wondering ---

-----My ex and I have no kids together, and there is no reason for him to lie to me, yet I think they are more than friends... .why would he lie?

------I am jealous and thinking that maybe things will "work out" with them yet he has a history of broken relations and so does she. I hope this is unrealistic feelings/thoughts on my part... I am trying to remember that feelings do not always equal facts. So just because I fear they will work out doesn't mean they will.

-----WHat would the attraction be between 2 people with BPD?  The instability in each other?  I would think a BPD would at least do a bit better with a more stable person, not a less stable one!

Thank you for any feedback or similar experience.

[OnceConfused]

if your x is truly your X then why would you worry about your x? If he finds someone to be with, then should you be happy for him and his  happiness?

[shatra]

       No I am definitely not happy. I don't know if he is truly my ex or not. My feelings for him did not just disappear because we are broken up.  A mutual friend said my ex does not have "happiness" with this "friend", but either way I naturally feel jealous.

    Here's an analogy---if someone gets unjustly fired from a job, they would naturally feel upset. They would most likely not be happy for the boss and want the boss to be happy with a new worker