Hi, My Borderline Ex always broke up with me when I distanced myself and she fee

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hi,

Need some advice ASAP, I was married and ended that relationship to be with this Girl, I have been in this relationship for over 2 years, She also started working for me again 6 months ago.

She found SMS in my phone from my soon to be ex wife and told me I had to tell my soon to be ex wife that I was in a relationship with her before the end of September, I agreed and then she broke up with me 2 weeks before the end of September, As I distance myself to get the job done.

I then told my soon to be ex wife about the relationship and told her that i told her and she says its too late, i see things in black and white, theres too much that has gone on and she doesn't know who she is, she feels empty etc... .

As she works for me I ask her to meet with me a week later and said, we have broken up 3 times in the past, i have sorted all the stuff you asked me to do and that if you do not see a future with me, I ask that you leave my business, She says let me think about it for a few days. Saturday comes and we meet up, ___ hit the fan with my ex and she came and got me and took me to her house told me she loves me and always misses me and then we proceeded to have sex multiple times, after this i had to leave and I text her and said I will miss her as she agreed to take 8 weeks of my business so I could heal. cut a long story short. She sms me later that night saying I love you so much and I will always be thinking of you and that I am so proud of you and will be thinking of you always, I lash out saying this is all bull___ you need help, at this time I didn't know her disorder...

I proceed to tell her not to come back to my business and to leave me alone, during this time My soon to be ex wife is going crazy and meeting with my business partner who told her everything. I told the BPD ex during this time to leave me alone and to go seek help, She then proceeded to bloke me on FB and email, plus phone.

I ended up from all the emotional stress from 3 years of hell in my business, the divorce separation checking my self in to hospital for 5 days and then been away for a week, I sent her an email apologising for the things I have done wrong and that I understand how you feel for these things.

My question , she still turned up to my business on Monday , she is getting photos of herself and putting them on my business FB page previously I wouldn't allow this due to the exes feelings, she is hanging around longer at my business... .she is talking trash about me to my members, sending suck ass sms and emails to my staff and business partner and working really hard for my business. Yet she hasn't contacted me and sent me anything regarding being in hospital or if I am ok etc... .

What is this person game plan? She only ever broke up with me when she felt severely insecure... .Is she trying to get back at me for hiding her? Does she want me in her life? Whats her agenda... .No normal person would stay at a business after a nasty break up!

please read and help ASAP

[stewlion07]

Hi,

Need some advice ASAP, I was married and ended that relationship to be with this Girl, I have been in this relationship for over 2 years, She also started working for me again 6 months ago.

She found SMS in my phone from my soon to be ex wife and told me I had to tell my soon to be ex wife that I was in a relationship with her before the end of September, I agreed and then she broke up with me 2 weeks before the end of September, As I distance myself to get the job done.

I then told my soon to be ex wife about the relationship and told her that i told her and she says its too late, i see things in black and white, theres too much that has gone on and she doesn't know who she is, she feels empty etc... .

As she works for me I ask her to meet with me a week later and said, we have broken up 3 times in the past, i have sorted all the stuff you asked me to do and that if you do not see a future with me, I ask that you leave my business, She says let me think about it for a few days. Saturday comes and we meet up, ___ hit the fan with my ex and she came and got me and took me to her house told me she loves me and always misses me and then we proceeded to have sex multiple times, after this i had to leave and I text her and said I will miss her as she agreed to take 8 weeks of my business so I could heal. cut a long story short. She sms me later that night saying I love you so much and I will always be thinking of you and that I am so proud of you and will be thinking of you always, I lash out saying this is all bull___ you need help, at this time I didn't know her disorder...

I proceed to tell her not to come back to my business and to leave me alone, during this time My soon to be ex wife is going crazy and meeting with my business partner who told her everything. I told the BPD ex during this time to leave me alone and to go seek help, She then proceeded to bloke me on FB and email, plus phone.

I ended up from all the emotional stress from 3 years of hell in my business, the divorce separation checking my self in to hospital for 5 days and then been away for a week, I sent her an email apologising for the things I have done wrong and that I understand how you feel for these things.

My question , she still turned up to my business on Monday , she is getting photos of herself and putting them on my business FB page previously I wouldn't allow this due to the exes feelings, she is hanging around longer at my business... .she is talking trash about me to my members, sending suck ass sms and emails to my staff and business partner and working really hard for my business. Yet she hasn't contacted me and sent me anything regarding being in hospital or if I am ok etc... .

What is this person game plan? She only ever broke up with me when she felt severely insecure... .Is she trying to get back at me for hiding her? Does she want me in her life? Whats her agenda... .No normal person would stay at a business after a nasty break up!

please read and help ASAP

[babyducks]

hi stewlion07

BPD is a serious mental disorder and the person who suffers from it typically has a series of high conflict and intense relationships.  There is a lot of complexity to this disorder so I wanted to provide you with some more information. 

What is Borderline Personality Disorder?

It's always difficult to speculate as to what an individuals agenda is, however a person with BPD has a serious fear of abandonment and difficulty accepting responsibility for their actins.   They tend to project the responsibility onto others by blaming them.   It's a maladaptive coping trait.

What you have probably already learned that these are not 'normal' relationships.  The highs tend to be higher and the lows much lower.   There can be a lot of stress.   A lot of arguing.  A lot of break up and recycles.   

What would you like to see happen in the short term?   

'ducks