Introduction

[uksurvivor]

Hello... .I just wanted to share my story ( im going to make it brief)

I try'd for a year but in the end the constant cycles of love then distancing, fights over nothing,her refusal to accept any responsibility for my feelings or infact anything, the lies etc etc... .wow this whole year has been so crazy but now i look back and see that my whole year and headspace has been consumed by the dysfunction of the relationship, trying to work out whats going on , why is she acting like that ? why is she treating me so badly and then telling me she wants to have a child and marry me ?

Anyways my point to all this is I was going to split up with her months ago and I wasn't strong enough, i understood her behavior was unacceptable but didn't have the guts to walk away because i was addicted to the attention when she was been needy or sexual... .if you are in this position now "get out and don't look back" because if you don't you are inviting them to really hurt you and treat you badly... .in my case it was true that she didn't care how i felt or what i wanted it was all about her and the minute i try'd to talk about it the abuse would start or the silent treatment... .

The irony of it all was that one of the reasons i went out with her was because she was a yoga and meditation teacher and i really wanted to date someone who understood connection. kindness and empathy ! what a joke she was the most selfish and inconsiderate person i have ever met but played a great game of convincing everyone she wasn't.

Run for the hills my friends don't look back and find someone who treats you well x

[lbjnltx]

Hi uksurvivor,

Welcome to the site and the Undecided Board.  Many members are on this board because they want the relationship to work and are struggling with how to do that or they have not decided if they want to continue even with the improvements made in the relationship... .maybe they have children to consider.

Have you left the relationship with your significant other that you believe suffers from BPD?

lbjnltx

[livednlearned]

Hi uksurvivor,

Welcome to the site! It sounds like you've had a really hard year with her, trying so hard to make things work. Feeling confused about the push/pull is common for many of us in BPD relationships.

When is the last time you communicated with her?

It can really turn your world upside down to not understand what drives the BPD behaviors. It sounds like you were able to piece together that she struggles with BPD? Or was she diagnosed?

I hope you'll share more and let us know how you're doing. Whether you're in the relationship or not, these can be difficult relationships and support from others who understand can really help.

LnL