Update on my daughter

[heronbird]

Hello 

I haven't had much time to be on here in the last few months or longer

My daughter has been in a specialist BPD unit (in UK) for the last 21 months or so. They finally recognised they needed to help this poor young person.

Don't know why they suddenly decided that, after about 4 years of chaotic behaviour and many near misses and many many hospitalizations.

They took her in, and took her seriously. She has done 2, 6 month courses of DBT. She has had many ups and downs in the time she was there. She is now due to be discharged on Friday, she has a lovely big one bedroom flat with a support worker in the back ground and on going DBT.

She keeps herself very busy, she has become a member of a really helpful supportive Church. She also now officially works for the Church just 3 days a week as an inturn. She loves it.

Meeting good genuine friends and having a decent social life.

Things will never be perfect but this is the best I could have ever hoped for.

I don't know what the future holds, BPD is so unpredictable isn't it. I try not to think about the scary stuff that could happen.

I hope no one reads this and thinks, well its ok for you. I remember thinking things like that a bit when we were at our lowest, don't think we could have go lower actually.

I had a mini breakdown last year, it was horrible. Showed me a bit how BPD must feel and I couldn't cope with it one bit I don't think.

Her baby, well, lives with the dad

We went to court to get to see him twice a week because the dad is so over possessive over him when it comes to us and out daughter.

He is 2 and 4 months now.

Not sure how he will end up, just wait and see, but he is sweet. Very naughty too.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

THanks for the update and hi there Heronbird!

What a great effort to help your daughter!

When she leaves the facility, what will your role in her life look like?  Will she be nearby to have frequent physical contact with you? 

How is she feeling about her little one?  Will she be able to have visits with your grandchild? 

lbj

[jellibeans]

Dear Heronbird

it is stories like this that give me hope for my dd so don't feel like it won't be accepted as such. It is always good to hear good news for a change. I am very happy for you and your family. Looking forward to hearing more about her progress.

[heronbird]

My daughter lives two bus rides away, or about 20 minutes in the car. Her X and baby live 10 minutes away.  I hope I will be in the background for support. And I mean background.

Except I have to be there when she has the baby here at my house and the deal is twice a week, one weekend a month we have no baby so we get a weekend off.

Don't think the dad likes or trusts us which is a shame, he loves to withhold the child from us, I don't think he realises he only hurts his son. Such a shame. I also think he is co dependent, so when he drops him off to my house he crys so badly for his Dad. Hes started nursery too, and screams the place down.

The dad needs him to need him. That's not good

[lbjnltx]

It is good to know that your d will be able to spend time with her son and that you are there to lend support and guidance during those times.  It must be hard for her to not be parenting him daily. 

Will there be other sources of continued support for your daughter that she can depend on in addition to you heronbird?

lbj