Needs never ending proof of my love

[understandnow]

My 33y old son with uBPD with narcissistic tendencies went no contact with his entire family even defriend anyone who is related to him about three weeks ago. He blew up and told us he hated us because we had an impromptu dinner and he wasn't invited ( I knew he was working and did not call him)

I'm tired of constantly trying to make him feel loved.  He is adopted and has had a tormalterous life,  disregulating frequently since he was very very young child.

I am in need of some support or ideas with the holidays coming should I invite him.  I am anxious that it will bring more drama if I call him because to tell you the truth I am living in peacefull existence since he has gone no contact.  He does this frequently (silent verbal abuse) and then will come back into our life like nothing ever happened.  If I contact him, will he continue to use silent verbal abuse over and over in the future,or should I wait for him to contact us.  He constantly blames me for him not feeling loved.  I feel now at 33 he should address this need.  He has two great parents who had him in therapy all his childhood and did everything we could to raise him the best we can.  I also have three other grown adults who love their brother and are on their own and doing well but also getting tired of his constant needs and being unable to accept any responsibility for any of his downfalls and where his life is. 

Any ideas? 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Whether or not you invite him really is up to you and what you want.

Inviting him will most likely bring about some conflict, not inviting him will leave you feeling_______.

Which scenario can you best cope with?

[understandnow]

That is food for thought!