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Skills we were never taught
98
A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
Don't Be Invalidating
Listen with Empathy -
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Setting Boundaries
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Author Topic: Frustration  (Read 500 times)
esmaine

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« on: November 11, 2015, 02:48:18 PM »

my d was brought round by the police today despite me telling them I cannot have her here, apparantley her bf needed breathing space after she had another episode. The thing she is clearly not taking her meds again, it only takes 2 days of missing them and shes all over the place again, accusing us of all sorts of nasty unimaginable things, verbal abuse, crazy talk about being born in 1866 but when her mental health worker called to assess her she sat there all sweet and calm so he goes away thinking theres no real urgency today but can she go tomorrow for an appointment. As soon as he left she was at it again, I feel like nobody is taking us seriously, I know shes in the mental health loop which I am grateful for but they dont see her at her worst and dont see the dangers that we see.

Thankfully we got a pill down her tonight and her bf has taken her back for the night, but it will all start again tomorrow,

I just feel better for being able to rant on here about it 
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
mimi99
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« Reply #1 on: November 11, 2015, 03:16:37 PM »

I'm so sorry for all the drama you are enduring. It is almost impossible to get someone help if they refuse to be honest with the therapist. My d24 went to therapy and would talk about how great everything was and how she was doing so well, then come home and rage for an hour about who ate the last piece of cheese! BPDs are often good at putting on a front for everyone else-that's what makes it so hard for us, because no one else sees the really sick behavior and wonders why we wont let her come home. It's good to vent, and I'm glad things settled down for the night for you.
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lbjnltx
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« Reply #2 on: November 11, 2015, 04:21:21 PM »

One time we didn't get out of the Sherriff dept. parking lot before my d started the verbal abuse and threats all over again. So... .right back in we went. 
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Slwinner
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« Reply #3 on: November 11, 2015, 05:39:53 PM »

My daughter is a master at manipulating the system. The last time I called the police she said all the right things and the second they left she glared at me with dark eyes and said- You're a b___!

She's talked her way out of psych admissions too. She'll be raging at home saying she's going to kill herself and in the ER she tells them I am overreacting and the crazy one.

The only time she's been admitted to psych care is when she has self harmed. If it's just threats they say she does not meet the criteria and I am forced to take her home only to have another episode. Once she was really unstable but behaved like an angel in the ER and I refused to take her home saying that I was afraid for my safety. After much back and forth with the doctor I was told she did not meet the criteria for psych admission and if I would not take her home they would give her a bus pass and a list of homeless shelters. I did take her home and the next day she raged out at me and tried to break the side mirror off my car.

The drama never ends.
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esmaine

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« Reply #4 on: November 12, 2015, 03:18:02 AM »

My d has an appointment with early intervention today at 3 pm.  I am going to see if they will speak with me before they see her so I can put a few of my worries across to them. I fear that if she manages to fool them then we are back to square one.

I feel like running away and not leaving a forwarding address

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lbjnltx
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« Reply #5 on: November 12, 2015, 08:00:03 AM »

I hope they will hear you out esmaine.

If they won't meet with you prior to her, will you meet with them alongside your daughter?

Do you think there is a connection between post partum depression, marijuana use, and her psychotic features?  What meds does she take currently?

lbj
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esmaine

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« Reply #6 on: November 12, 2015, 10:40:19 AM »

Ibj  They wouldn't meet with me to talk without my d permission so I had to make do with speaking to her support worker. He believes that it's a combination of her BPD and post partum and drug abuse,

He also thinks there is another disorder going on but isn't qualified to diagnosis.  He said he realised that my d often plays it down and has passed this information on to the psychiatrist's who will see her.

My d's bf  has txt me to say she has been for the assessment and has to wait for their decision.  So we hold our breath and wait

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esmaine

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« Reply #7 on: November 12, 2015, 10:41:40 AM »

Ibj  I forgot to say she's on olanzapine 5mg
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lbjnltx
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« Reply #8 on: November 12, 2015, 10:49:24 AM »

That is a reasonably good outcome I suppose.

Is the custody of granddaughter dependent upon her following the treatment program recommended by the intervention team?
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esmaine

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« Reply #9 on: November 12, 2015, 11:55:17 AM »

Yes it's all dependant on her willingness to embrace treatment and work with social services who provide parenting classes and will be assessing her progress
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esmaine

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« Reply #10 on: November 12, 2015, 12:01:21 PM »

Sorry I posted that too soon. I wanted to mention that it's not yet certain if early intervention will help her or refer her back if that's the case she will apparently be referred to another team.

It's like going round in circles.

I'm pinning my hopes that today  early intervention were able to see through the front she puts on so well!
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
lbjnltx
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we can all evolve into someone beautiful


« Reply #11 on: November 12, 2015, 12:03:00 PM »

How will you learn of the outcome of today's meeting?
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esmaine

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« Reply #12 on: November 12, 2015, 12:23:20 PM »

My d support worker said he would ring me tomorrow, he feels like my support worker sometimes!
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lbjnltx
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we can all evolve into someone beautiful


« Reply #13 on: November 12, 2015, 12:29:35 PM »

Very good! 

I'm glad to know that you have someone who gets the family dynamic created by your daughter's issues.
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esmaine

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« Reply #14 on: November 13, 2015, 10:31:00 AM »

well the early intervention team are not taking my dd on as apparantely she presented herself well yesterday, I could scream!

instead she is now being referrered to a care coordinate, yet to be decided who that will be.  I am not even sure what will happen.  My dd support worker rang and told me once she is referred he will no longer be supporting her it will be someone else.   
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lbjnltx
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we can all evolve into someone beautiful


« Reply #15 on: November 13, 2015, 10:42:49 AM »

Well *#^@#!

Round and round it goes.

Any game plan going forward?  How does your d feel about the support changes?
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esmaine

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« Reply #16 on: November 13, 2015, 12:03:03 PM »

I dont know how she feels as I havent spoken to her yet, the last I heard was from her bf early this morn saying he needs his flat back to himself as shes driving him mad,  Then I spoke to her support worker shortly after who gave me the bad news, he said she was due in to see him at 11.30 am today for the verdict.  To be honest I cannot face speaking to her at the moment as Im still recovering from wednesdays drama.  But I still need to know shes going to get the help she needs ... .round and round indeed
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