Can anyone relate?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Can anyone else relate to this... .

My ex who I am back in contact with and who I suspect is BPD with NPD/sociopathic traits but believes he is a sociopath (? diagnosed) likes to try to prove to me he does not care about me.

I know he does by his actions but I feel like he has labelled himself (or someone else has) a sociopath and he's trying hard to live up to that reputation.

I believe him to be BPD by his actions that all point towards BPD, yet my issue is he tries hard to prove he just doesn't care when he quite clearly does by his actions.

Why is he trying so hard to show he does not care about me? I feel it's all a defence mechanism?

I know control for him is of paramount importance. So a lot of his actions are attempts to keep me insecure, paranoid, jealous, and only focusing on him. I can't help feel that if he was a sociopath his objectives would be more of achieving a goal with me such as money, status, sex etc but all his behaviours show mind games devised from insecurity (although he definitely lacks conscience). Surely a sociopath just wouldn't care this much and would go straight in for what they want?

Can anyone relate to this attitude of their BPD trying hard to prove to you that you mean nothing to them?

[Lou12]

Can anyone else relate to this... .

My ex who I am back in contact with and who I suspect is BPD with NPD/sociopathic traits but believes he is a sociopath (? diagnosed) likes to try to prove to me he does not care about me.

I know he does by his actions but I feel like he has labelled himself (or someone else has) a sociopath and he's trying hard to live up to that reputation.

I believe him to be BPD by his actions that all point towards BPD, yet my issue is he tries hard to prove he just doesn't care when he quite clearly does by his actions.

Why is he trying so hard to show he does not care about me? I feel it's all a defence mechanism?

I know control for him is of paramount importance. So a lot of his actions are attempts to keep me insecure, paranoid, jealous, and only focusing on him. I can't help feel that if he was a sociopath his objectives would be more of achieving a goal with me such as money, status, sex etc but all his behaviours show mind games devised from insecurity (although he definitely lacks conscience). Surely a sociopath just wouldn't care this much and would go straight in for what they want?

Can anyone relate to this attitude of their BPD trying hard to prove to you that you mean nothing to them?

[Lou12]

May I add that when I am physically with him 90% of the time he behaves lovingly towards me!

[enlighten me]

Im no expert but it does sound like a defence mechanism. If it happens when your not there then his insecurity could make him behave like that as he thinks you are abandoning him so he has to abandon you. Even though you haven't abandoned him and his logic isn't rational to you it is for him. Its a difficult one and one I failed at as how can you reassure them you haven't abandoned them when you have walked out of the door even though its only temporary.

[Lou12]

Thanks enlighten me, I have a initiative tendency to agree although because he behaves so horribly sometimes it leaves me thinking he is a sociopath but then I think your trying to hard to show me you don't care and it's not coming across as being naturally uncaring but contrived like I would expect from a sociopath?

Anyone else relate to this behaviour? X

[enlighten me]

With things like this I think about emotional immaturity and how children behave. If a child feels abandoned then the way they react is to show how little it means by acting as if they don't care. Is this really the case or are they just covering the hurt?

I know that it may not be technically correct but it has helped me to reassess the behaviour of my exs.

[Lou12]

Yes enlightened theirs definitely a child like behaviour behind his actions what throws me off is that he wants me to feel insecure, jealous and wanting him. He wants me to cry for him! I refuse to do it so then I think... 'are you a sociopath because you want me to hurt?' Or are you BPD and you want me to feel your hurt? I'm so confused because obviously a diagnosis of BPD v sociopathy means very different things! I just can't figure out if the malice behind his actions is intentional or through insecurity  x