Struggling pretty bad with a breakup

[EchoBridge]

Hello all, a couple of weeks ago (Halloween weekend) my girlfriend of 5+ years suddenly broke up with me. She was diagnosed with BPD pretty early on in her life and is covered in scars on her legs, torso and arms, but had stopped cutting by the time I met her. We had the most stable wonderful relationship that I knew of and I was literally weeks away from proposing to her. I like her parents a lot and they liked me(sending me condolences when they heard the news). I had helped her through the death of both her Grandmothers and any small bump in the road. She moved down to Nashville late in the summer to attend a graduate program, and I flew down to her at least once a month. We talked nightly on the phone and texted if there was something interesting or funny. We would rabbit (kinda like skype) and watch out favorite tv shows "together". I thought that the long distance relationship was difficult, but manageable. I had been over seas for a month+ and she did not struggle with that in the past. Then all of a sudden she calls me up in a panic, talking about how she is worried about the future and how much she resents my father's control over my life (I work in a family business) and that because of him I could not move down to Nashville with her. She proceeded to talk about how she is worried how much money I will make and how much she is scared that I don't have a high paying job (which was never an issue before, I am still in school but I do more than fine, plus I come from a firmly upper middle class family). She then made it seem like my involvement in her life was a hindrance and that her attachment with me needed to be severed to achieve her goals. I am totally shocked and I ask if she wants to break up, to which she replies "I dont know". Needless to say I don't take that terribly well and begin to ask questions on why. The rest of the conversation is a lot of silence and me weeping into the phone. A day or two goes by and I call her to see if everything is ok and if that was a passing thing. By then she has made her decision and will break up with me in person this coming Thanksgiving break. She has since proceeded to lock me out of her life (despite saying that she will do the opposite and always be my friend), with limited contact due to getting her stuff dropped off at her parent's house. I am a totally broken man now. I can manage during the day, but as soon as the sun sets (which is very early this time of year) my mood drops. I have frequent thoughts about not wanting to feel like this any more, but I am seeking treatment for that (I contacted my psych about getting therapy) . I question my own value and self worth. How do I reconcile that the woman that I loved found my affection to be dead weight and ultimately expendable? Sometimes I think I can feel my subconscious doing damage control, hardening myself in order to prevent this from ever happening again, but also putting up barriers that will prove to be problematic in my future relationship pursuits. Is there any hope for me?

[OnceConfused]

Wound is the crack where light enters your soul. RUMI

Remember what you are going through now in your mind is NORMAL as many of us have also gone through similar predicaments when our r.s did not go well.

The mistakes that we all made are that we base our self worth on achieving things or OWNING stuffs or Owning others. I must have that BMW to show that I am successful, I must be with that person to show that I am complete ... .

We have to accept the DUALITY of life, in birth there is death, in getting together there is departure, in being young there is old. Like a coin, life does not exist if death does not occur.

You must hang tough there my friend. The despair and the hopelessness seem overwhelming now, but they too shall pass. This will be a test of your strength and characters.

Hang in there.