BPD experience was awful - please help

[butterfly15]

my ex and I were together for 2 years. I thought we were in a relationship. He acted as if we were. It would be at his convenience when he decided we were just "friends". Not sure how many people have romantic relations and actions with their "friends".

I feel he used me and painted me black. Besides I found out late last year he had been cheating using online dating as his outlet for coping. I was so hurt and to know that he has continued this pattern painted me black and tossed me away. At the time we met he had nothing. Literally. I let him move in with me after he sustained a serious injury. I nursed him, loved him, cared for him. Only to find out before and during his injury he had another lover. She gave him gifts for Christmas which he denied for months. Will he ever get better? I feel the worst because I gave him so much and it was never real for him. I am so hurt and confused. I fee that I may be addicted to him. Please help. I have not contacted him in over a week. Nor has he contacted me. Which hurts because I know he has found someone else.

[Herodias]

I can totally relate. I did the same thing... took him in and helped him build himself up for 8 years! Be glad it wasn't longer for you. Mine did the same exact thing... .he is now in another r/s and it is taking a long time to recover... .but you can do it! Know now that you should not take someone in and help them... .leave them to theirselves. Find someone who does not need help in the future... .For now- work on yourself and your boundaries... Look at u-tube videos for support on these issues. Sorry this has happened to you... .it stinks- I know.

[thefixermom]

I've been there.  The pain is very great for a reason.  Hopefully to teach us to not jump into that pool again. I examined my relationships awhile back and noticed that just about all of them were men "in need" or wanting to elevate themselves.  I think I accepted these types into my life because it gave me some sort of imagined security.  I thought they'd be so grateful or dependent on me that they would never leave me. Once I was over them I realized how little I respected or trusted them.  Herodias is right. Be grateful they are gone sooner rather than later. Work on yourself and come to see that you can have a worthy partner.

[butterfly15]

 Thanks everyone I know has told me the same .unfortunately those around me do not know of the disorder.  They do not understand the addiction .  I am also glad it is sooner than later .  I will start looking for you tube videos. That may help distract me while I learn.