My adult daughter

[Chilli]

My daughter has borderline personality disorder.She is 19.Just wondering if any other parent has ever experienced their son or daughter invent situations in order to get out of trouble when they have made bad choices and things turn out bad.I find when my daughter does something wrong she will go to any extreme to avoid her getting into trouble with her parents.We just can't believe a word she says any more.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Rapt Reader]

Hello, Chilli &

Your situation sounds pretty "normal" for a parent of a child with BPD... .Probably all of the members of the Parenting Board will be able to commiserate with you over having to deal with our BPD children lying at times, inventing excuses for their behavior, etc. Unfortunately, this is not unusual; I found that my BPD son would be disingenuous with us all the time (in the past, before being treated for his BPD) when he knew his situations and behaviors would be hurtful to us, or cause us to be angry. His shame over these things would cause his lying to us, usually.

Does your daughter still live with you? Is she in treatment? Therapy? Counseling? How are you coping with the situation? I'm really glad you've found us, Chilli 

[mimi99]

Welcome. My experience with my BPDd24 is that she will assign blame for most situations onto others. I think she may actually believe that someone else is at fault most of the time. My take on this is that her distorted thinking makes her see things far differently than the reality of the situation. When I tried to correct her about what actually happened, she felt invalidated and would push back. I am working on that!

[BB_YogaGirl]

I agree with the inventing and assigning blame. My 17 yo daughter also has a very distorted perception of reality... .it is "her" truth, but not in actuality. I could be naive but I don't often think she lies but I do see her invent reality and place blame most of the time. It's a frustrating and vicious cycle. I am happy just to be able to vent and relate to and with parents experiencing the same things as I.