This is from the lessons to the right ---->
The more we understand the dynamics of the disorder the easier we can accept and cope with what we have endured. When this happens we regain control of our own self control and can address the issues at hand with smarter tools and approaches.
This is also from the site, written by someone who has recovered from her BPD:
People with BPD are intense by nature: one of the disorder’s basic structures is mood lability. But the force of our love – and our hate, though never indifference – comes from something altogether different: from the deep emptiness inside us, where no warmth seems to reach. It’s an absense of a sense of self, a sense of being a good person, and comes from a lack (or perceived lack) of getting our primary needs met when we were children, for whatever reason: abuse, neglect, trauma, difficult innate temperaments, invalidation, loss of a caretaker, harsh environment, whatever it may be.
Understanding what BPD is (mood lability, projections, splitting, impulsivity, emotional dysregulation) helps make the kind of messages you've been receiving make more sense.
My son started to display BPD traits. You're lucky, rarsweet -- you know about BPD early when your D is young. The lessons to the right, especially Lesson 5, have a lot of important skills and tools to help you raise your D so she is not as at-risk for developing similar traits as her dad.