Income/ Child Support

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

How did she take the news?

[livednlearned]

How did she take the news?

[scraps66]

Should there be some consideration for the precedent being set by paying all of mother's bills right now?  I think that is a risk.  Court's love finding easy rationalizations to come to a finite decision.   

[jac8949]

How did she take the news?

Actually pretty good. She only sat outside of my house for two hours in the middle of the night knocking on the door and crying.  Then the next day she holed herself up in my car for 2 hours during a kid exchange.  So it wasnt as bad as I have seen in the past. 

[jac8949]

Should there be some consideration for the precedent being set by paying all of mother's bills right now?  I think that is a risk.  Court's love finding easy rationalizations to come to a finite decision.   

I dont think that those precedents really apply in child support only cases.  If there was a divorce, then maybe it would be different. 

I am really looking forward to this appointment with my attorney today. 

[ForeverDad]

The lawyer may tell you what typically happens in such cases.  That's okay, you need to know that.  But will he have strategies to get the best outcome for the children?  Court won't care much if at all about you, it will claim it's about the children but the reality is that mother may get consideration too.  Don't pay a retainer until you're satisfied this is the lawyer for you.

At first I thought she was seeing the children only every other weekend, basically an EOW parent, a stereotype often expected for fathers.  But if she is caring for the kids while you work and you care for them the rest of the time except for a couple overnight every couple weeks, then that is not so clear-cut, she sees them somewhat frequently.  You need to ask the lawyer(s) whether the court and agencies look only at overnights or also consider the frequency or percentage of time with the children.

Since they'll be in school soon, do you plan to start using daycare before and after school?  That would also result in fewer exchanges with her.

Also, while you're handling all this legal stuff, keep in mind that the IRS wants it clear who gets to claim the children for tax deductions, etc.  So review IRS Form 8332 and related articles.

I think you made a comment previously about going on disability or something like that if things don't go your way.  Ponder whether taking such paths would impact the court's view of you as a capable parent, also whether that would incline the court to think you're more concerned about the money than the children, a stereotype fathers can unfairly face.

[livednlearned]

Now that you have stopped paying her, it seems likely she will be forced to get a job. No?

If so, and she begins bringing in an income for the first time, that could drastically change the calculations.

Is there a rush to do this? Or are you willing to wait and see how she responds to your recent boundary?

People are supposed to report when there is a change in income. For people with high-conflict personalities, this is not something they tend to do willingly, in my experience. So, you are put in a position to file something, and that takes money, and time, and effort.

Hopefully the lawyer will have some strategies for you, including waiting if that is advantageous.

[jac8949]

Now that you have stopped paying her, it seems likely she will be forced to get a job. No?

If so, and she begins bringing in an income for the first time, that could drastically change the calculations.

Is there a rush to do this? Or are you willing to wait and see how she responds to your recent boundary?

People are supposed to report when there is a change in income. For people with high-conflict personalities, this is not something they tend to do willingly, in my experience. So, you are put in a position to file something, and that takes money, and time, and effort.

Hopefully the lawyer will have some strategies for you, including waiting if that is advantageous.


FYI... I just filed today for primary physical custody. I simply asked what, in his professional opinion, should I do.  He said to file and file fast.  It will go in to court before Christmas.  

I started a new thread.

FYI... I just filed today for primary physical custody. I simply asked my attorney what, in his professional opinion, should I do.  He said to file and file fast.  It will go in to court before Christmas.  

I started a new thread.