Like walking on glass

[unicorn2014]

 

2nd post here.

My d15 is now the most symptomatic  person in my life.

My subject came from a conversation I had with a volunteer at the parental stress line on Friday, she said talking to my d15 right now is like walking on glass. I thought to myself, wow that's even more extreme then dealing with my partner (walking on eggshells, which my volunteer also referred to.)

My daughter did come home today and supposedly was going to school but I just got a 2nd phone call from the police informing me she didn't go to school so I looked her attendance up online and sure enough it was unverified.

In the meanwhile this weekend I pulled all her school records starting from kindergarten where her teacher wrote her progress report that

Quote

"has had a lot to contend with in her personal life and at times her sadness around these issues spills over into her school life. I have begun to notice that seems more sad and withdrawn than she did in the beginning of the year... .I would like to see her continue to see someone on a therapeutic level next year (through the school or social services) to help her continue to cope with her personal issues".

I wrote to her counselor from kindergarten and she said she remembered me and my daughter and kept a picture of her for a long time and she referred me to the social services so I will be writing that email shortly.

My daughter has a long history from kindergarten until today.

I had an IEP done on her in 4th grade and at that point nothing had reached a clinical level although she had many at risk factors.

Its quite challenging to be processing this at this point in my life because I was trying to do work on myself.

I'm reaching out for as much help and support as I can.

I signed up for a parenting class through a local police department that I was invited to 2 years ago. In 2013 my daughter got cited for shoplifting. The police informed me she would get cited again today for running away, so that will be 3 citations. Then there's the collision she caused by jaywalking that resulted in her breaking her wrist in 2014. Like I said, there's a long history.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Gorges]

I would encourage you to take the parenting class. That will be a great start to knowing what you can control.  Also, the police can be a great aly.  They want kids to turn out well.

These will be very tough years until she is 18 and can live on her own.  Take care of yourself and remember that you can only control yourself and change yourself.  Love your daughter, let her know that you love her. I just think it is important to take care of yourself at this point.  Try meditation, relaxation, it is very difficult to change a teenager.

One thing that I really happy that we did was withholding the driver's license.  My daughter got herself in legal trouble and doing something stupid with a car would have been much worse.

[unicorn2014]

I would encourage you to take the parenting class. That will be a great start to knowing what you can control.  Also, the police can be a great aly.  They want kids to turn out well.

Thanks I am, its starting on Thursday night. I'm bringing her in for a mental health assessment next Tuesday.

These will be very tough years until she is 18 and can live on her own.  Take care of yourself and remember that you can only control yourself and change yourself.  Love your daughter, let her know that you love her. I just think it is important to take care of yourself at this point.  Try meditation, relaxation, it is very difficult to change a teenager.

Thank you I do meditation, also DBT.