BPDgf asked for cool off period ~

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Good evening I just came across this forum.  I have never been on one of these before so its a little intimidating.  I am in a relationship with a BPD Girl friend right now.  about three years ago I went through a divorce after being married 33 years to a women that after extensive reading I would say was high functioning BPD.  Also after much reading I am quite sure I am very Codependent to this type of behavior.  The reason I thought my wife of 33 years was BPD is that the counselor we were going to at the time said she most likely was and I should do some study on, it so I wouldn't get into another one. I was married three years before her, to a women who left me as well. Also my counselor suggested she may have been one too. Noting because of the things I told her about that marriage and that she has been married 5 times.  Note I have read to the end of the internet so I have pretty good understanding about this condition.  Right now My girl friend and I are taking a cooling off period for two weeks her suggestion.  It has me spinning I can"t get the elephant off my chest. I am so tired of the pain.  I want to take her back however every conventional thought is don't.  Every time she texts me I get so hopefull and then no contact and I just crash.  Help what do I do?

[Marty1]

Good evening I just came across this forum.  I have never been on one of these before so its a little intimidating.  I am in a relationship with a BPD Girl friend right now.  about three years ago I went through a divorce after being married 33 years to a women that after extensive reading I would say was high functioning BPD.  Also after much reading I am quite sure I am very Codependent to this type of behavior.  The reason I thought my wife of 33 years was BPD is that the counselor we were going to at the time said she most likely was and I should do some study on, it so I wouldn't get into another one. I was married three years before her, to a women who left me as well. Also my counselor suggested she may have been one too. Noting because of the things I told her about that marriage and that she has been married 5 times.  Note I have read to the end of the internet so I have pretty good understanding about this condition.  Right now My girl friend and I are taking a cooling off period for two weeks her suggestion.  It has me spinning I can"t get the elephant off my chest. I am so tired of the pain.  I want to take her back however every conventional thought is don't.  Every time she texts me I get so hopefull and then no contact and I just crash.  Help what do I do?

[Chilibean13]

That's a decision you will need to make for yourself. Do you want to continue with the off and on again aspect of the relationship? What do you need to do to get yourself stronger?

Take this cooling off time to review the lessons on the right side of the page. There is a lot to take in but it will help get you on the steps you need to take care of you.