Prevention is better than cure

[Parents! Get help here!]

I am 53, with an uNBPD mom. I found out in therapy after months spent describing her. This was about 5 years back. Now, to cut a long story short, my 15 year old niece has been diagnosed with BPD, she dysregulated so badly that she had to be hospitalized. They also have a in patient DBT program. So we are doing everything we can for now. We are pulling together as a family which is heartening, improving our communication and accepting also that though this child needs to take responsibility for her actions there is also clearly a family dysfunction which allows the disease to thrive. But my question is: can anything be done to prevent BPD? Is anyone aware of research or has anybody tried this? I ask because we have three small children left in the family, 6 and 4. Obviously we are dealing with some form of inherited BPD here, there is my mom and as for my generation, well, my brothers have a long history of substance abuse which could be self-medicating and I myself will dysregulate around my mom. Would love to SET and DEARMAN but fact is that she needles me until she gets a response. So I cope by very LC  which worked fine until the current crisis. But is there anything preventative we can do for the children? Would we be able to test for BPD susceptibility? I would just like there to be hope for the younger ones if we can catch it early and do what we have to do.

[khibomsis]

I am 53, with an uNBPD mom. I found out in therapy after months spent describing her. This was about 5 years back. Now, to cut a long story short, my 15 year old niece has been diagnosed with BPD, she dysregulated so badly that she had to be hospitalized. They also have a in patient DBT program. So we are doing everything we can for now. We are pulling together as a family which is heartening, improving our communication and accepting also that though this child needs to take responsibility for her actions there is also clearly a family dysfunction which allows the disease to thrive. But my question is: can anything be done to prevent BPD? Is anyone aware of research or has anybody tried this? I ask because we have three small children left in the family, 6 and 4. Obviously we are dealing with some form of inherited BPD here, there is my mom and as for my generation, well, my brothers have a long history of substance abuse which could be self-medicating and I myself will dysregulate around my mom. Would love to SET and DEARMAN but fact is that she needles me until she gets a response. So I cope by very LC  which worked fine until the current crisis. But is there anything preventative we can do for the children? Would we be able to test for BPD susceptibility? I would just like there to be hope for the younger ones if we can catch it early and do what we have to do.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Hi and welcome to the parenting board!

To answer your questions:

There are psychological tests that can highlight problem areas in a child.  At the ages of 6 and 4, unless there are problems already surfacing, I don't know that they would reveal much... .lots of developing going on currently for them.

I don't know that there is a way to prohibit the development of this disorder when a child is predisposed to inherit it.  That being said, curbing the full blown disorder is possible.  Though no guarantees.

If we parent a highly sensitive child in the most beneficial way for that child (ie meeting their needs in a healthy way, modeling healthy coping skills, participating in family therapy) it will go much easier for them in life.

There is a DBT based parenting skills book called "Parenting a Child Who Has Intense Emotions" that can help parents of young children build the skills and relationship that is most beneficial.  I encourage you to read about it here https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=200554.0 on the Book Reviews Board. 

lbj

[khibomsis]

thanks lbj! I will do so. Hopefully these kids will have a better chance.