Hi justaguy67,
Welcome and hello!
We have a lot of collective wisdom, and are happy to have you add yours to the mix as well as benefit from what others have learned. Have you read Bill Eddy's book "Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing a BPD/NPD Spouse"? Lots of good advice there, including what to expect in family law court.
That's great you were able to have the PO dismissed. Does your lawyer seem to understand what you're dealing with?
Temporary orders have a tendency to become permanent, although that happened in my case and even so I eventually worked my way to sole custody. In part because my ex could not follow court orders and could not stop focus on doing what's best for our son. Eventually all of my ex's behaviors were trotted in front of a judge, and even though it was expensive and ex was given second and third chances, I managed to get my son to safe ground. It is possible.
It's a good idea to read everything you can about parental alienation because it tends to go hand in hand with BPD divorces. Dr. Craig Childress is a good place to start. Divorce Poison is also good by Richard Warshak. We have some good lessons on the Coparenting Board:
Lesson 5 on Raising Emotionally Resilient Children and
Lesson 6 on Parental Alienation.
Keep posting and let us know how you're doing. You're not alone.
LnL
