Question about my undBPD daughter's lying

[penny52]

Hi, I need to ask this about my undiagnosed BPD27 daughter's six old year, yesterday my granddaughter and I were talking about lying, she said "I know when to lying for mom because I can tell by her face." I didn't know how to response besides telling her "I understand that might be confusing", how can I help her with this or do I leave it up to her therapist who she just started seeing once a week for anger problems (and just so you all know Social Services has thankful gotten involved too and I called the mental health center and left a message about the lying too). I'd like to be able to give her a response to help her understand this is not her fault, thanks for any suggestions. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Hi penny52, it's good to see you here.

I can't tell from your post if your granddaughter is saying "I know when to lie to mom" or "I know when mom is lying"

It would be great for her to tt her therapist (T) about it of course.

Maybe explore the concept that no reply is better than lying and if someone is lying to us no reply is also one of our options.

Do you attend T with her?

lbj

[penny52]

It was suppose to be "I know when to lie for my mom", I wish I could go to therapy with her, but that is of course a no go. Thanks for the no reply answer, I worry of course that my d is going to take it wrong and she could in trouble, I just really feel for my gd. I guess at least she is seeing a therapist and hopefully there will be a light at the end of the tunnel for my gd.