Daughter completely destroying her sisters life and ruining her relationships

[Flamenco]

My daughter is really ruining her sisters life, buy ringing round her friends whilst having too much to drink breaking confidences etc etc. she is ruining a fantastic relationship, something she has always craved.

I seem helpless in being able to help her, she lies about her drinking and swears she has given up, all avenues of help seem to be thrown in our faces. My partner is quite feed up with I t all, so feel I cannot discuss it with him, also her brother has had enough over the years and has run out of patience.

The terrible worry never goes away, I don't seem to be able to help her.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[tristesse]

hi Flamenco, and welcome to bpdfamily.

I am so sorry that you are having this difficulty with your daughter, and I understand your concern. I, along the other members here, are here to help and advise if we can and the best way to do that is to get the as much information as possible.

For instance, how old is your daughter? is diagnosed or undiagnosed?

I know you said she is ruing a fantastic relationship, and that she had always wanted one. This not uncommon for someone with BPD, They all want love and acceptance, but are so afraid of rejection that they will destroy the relationship and hurt you before you can hurt them.

I encourage you to continue posting here, let us help you while you help yourself by learning the best and most effective ways to communicate with your BPD daughter. I suggest starting with the tools and lessons to the right of the board. This is very helpful and very useful information and skills.

Please let us all know how things are going. Take care

[lbjnltx]

What do each of the girls say about the situation?

This is tough!