The power of validation and body image problems

[unicorn2014]

Hi everyone,

I also checked out the power of validation from the library. Its beach weather this week and once again my daughter is starting to obsess on her "muffin top". Yesterday she walked 11+ miles. Today as far as I know she has just eaten the vegan almond butter cups I made last night. I made her a salted caramel protein smoothie and she rejected it because it had protein powder in it. She's 3# below average for her height and she's starting to complain about not having hips again. She takes after her father's build, and I'm trying to get her to accept this.


I even talked to the school counselor about this last year when she threw up a couple of times after track practice cause she hadn't eaten that day. There are a couple of body positive organizations in our area that work with the schools but that's not really my daughter's problem, she doesn't have a negative body image, she's obsessive. I told her the only way to sculpt her abs was over time.

Her friends admire her body, boys are falling all over her, and yet she's scrutinizing her figure.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Turkish]

Why do you say that she doesn't have a negatiive body (self) image? From what you said, it sounds like she does.

[unicorn2014]

Ok, then she does, so then what? She's comfortable in a bikini, midriff exposing tops, short shorts, etc. She wants hips, calf definition . Boys fall in love with her and her friends admire her.

[Kwamina]

There are a couple of body positive organizations in our area that work with the schools but that's not really my daughter's problem, she doesn't have a negative body image, she's obsessive. I told her the only way to sculpt her abs was over time.

When you say your daughter is obsessive, are you referring to her obsession with a certain type of body figure? An obsession possibly evidenced by extreme behaviors such as walking 11+ miles and exercising hard without eating, is that what you mean with her being obsessive?

Why do you feel she struggles with accepting her body the way it is? What do you believe is underlying her focus on body image?

[unicorn2014]

She says she wants to look good. I said if she wants me to take her seriously as an athlete then she has to do more then just work out, she has to care about hydration, rest and nutrition.

On another level I realize that being her mom requires a really strong sense of self. For example she loves to tell me I think too much, but then this morning I sent her a meme that said "I don't know what's worse, overthinking or overfeeling" and she related to it and then said she thinks too much. I was like, wait a minute, I thought I thought too much.

It is very interesting to me how adolescent behavior mirrors borderline behavior, but in adolescents its normal and in adults its abnormal.