BPD Symptoms?

[sebastian.l]

I have a question to the board. When I met this girl there were some stories she told me that occurred to me like 'red flags'. Further into the story I started researching these behaviors on the web and came always across the same boards - BPD boards. However, since I think we 'diagnose' way to early these days pathologic ways in people from a non expert view (due to the public info on the web), I want to seek your feedback here. So 'red flags' to me:

- she slept with me basically on the second day we met

- she told me pretty quickly that this was the most intense experience and sex she ever had

- asking for the end of her last relationship, she said she cheated on him

- I know when we met, she just was 6 weeks shy from writing a letter every day to her ex to ask for apologize for the cheating and get him back

- everytime I leave her place, I receive a text within 30min telling me 'thank you for relaxing me and calming my mind'

- she is very sensitive, impulsive and passionate, which really gets you hooked from the first moment

- she has huge problems to stay alone and seems constantly planning the next step, always keep moving. Also physically, riding a bike next to her it's almost impossible to keep up... and she won't wait

- she is biting her nails down to the flesh

- she has sleep problems and often I receive texts at 4am

- she shuts down as soon as the topic comes about her father and treats him with a distance

- she seeks really fast the proximity of guys and jumps impulsive on them, especially after a few beers

- at last, she once said something about her roommate like 'you know, the contract of the house is on me. So I could kick her out every time I wanted to, but I don;t do it. I like her.'

Can somebody tell me opinions about that please? It seems here are some issues doesn't it?

Thanx

[Cipher13]

While I can not say I am an expert I can share with you my experiences and you can judge some of this yourself. I too think my wife has BPD based on all my research but alas no diagnosis not that it would do much good anyway.


- she slept with me basically on the second day we met  Same here. Or maybe third but for me it was sooner than expected

- she told me pretty quickly that this was the most intense experience and sex she ever had same here almost word for word

- asking for the end of her last relationship, she said she cheated on him I was the rebound and turns out she had yet to tell him it was over which I was told was the next day

- I know when we met, she just was 6 weeks shy from writing a letter every day to her ex to ask for apologize for the cheating and get him back she secretly meet him a few times to "break it off" I had feeling that was not the case right away.

- everytime I leave her place, I receive a text within 30min telling me 'thank you for relaxing me and calming my mind' to this day when I leave the house or even just the room I get a text or she tells me she misses me and is lonely without me... .seconds later

- she is very sensitive, impulsive and passionate, which really gets you hooked from the first moment Yes this is the redest flag I wish I had seen and put forth more effort into seeing.

- she has huge problems to stay alone and seems constantly planning the next step, always keep moving. Also physically, riding a bike next to her it's almost impossible to keep up... and she won't wait nail on the head with this one. We have moved 18 times in the last 14 years and she has had at least 1 new job every 8 months. I have to go everywhere with her or go to places for her.

- she is biting her nails down to the flesh This is no the same for me. However my wife still has her childhood security blanket she sleeps with

- she has sleep problems and often I receive texts at 4am This was an issue in our relationship also. Now I am woken up to go with her to the bathroom or rub her back to help her fall asleep.

- she shuts down as soon as the topic comes about her father and treats him with a distance This is not the case for me. However she has something negative to say about everyone in her family behind there back. Has convinced me to abandon my family all together. I bought into it at first now I have not had contact with them for almost 10 years and I am trying to find a way to get that back.

- she seeks really fast the proximity of guys and jumps impulsive on them, especially after a few beers This was happening also when we were dating. Wanted to get a jolt out of me to she my response.

- at last, she once said something about her roommate like 'you know, the contract of the house is on me. So I could kick her out every timeIf you didn't worship her she would bad mouth you. As a result today she has no friends and few if any family left. And the ones she has left she doesn't like to even be around


I think there is enough to be concerned here. But that's my opinion. I wish I could have know about all of these things sooner in my relationship. I might not be so miserable. Good luck.

[JQ]

Hello Sebastian,


Mayo Clinic defines BPD as ... .

Cluster B personality disorders

Cluster B personality disorders are characterized by dramatic, overly emotional or unpredictable thinking or behavior. They include antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. It's not necessary to exhibit all the signs and symptoms listed for a disorder to be diagnosed.Borderline personality disorder

Impulsive and risky behavior, such as having unsafe sex, gambling or binge eating

Unstable or fragile self-image

Unstable and intense relationships

Up and down moods, often as a reaction to interpersonal stress

Suicidal behavior or threats of self-injury

Intense fear of being alone or abandoned

Ongoing feelings of emptiness

Frequent, intense displays of anger

Stress-related paranoia that comes and goes.

BPD as defined by John Hopkins Medical ... .

For people without a personality disorder, personality traits are patterns of thinking, reacting, and behaving that remain relatively consistent and stable over time. People with a personality disorder display more rigid thinking and reacting behaviors that make it hard for them to adapt to a situation. These behaviors often disrupt their personal, professional, and social lives.Examples of dramatic/erratic (Cluster B) personality disorders

Borderline personality disorder. People with this disorder are not stable in their perceptions of themselves, and have difficulty keeping stable relationships. Moods may also be inconsistent, but never neutral. Their sense of reality is always seen in "black and white." People with borderline personality disorder often feel as though they lacked a certain level of nurturing while growing up. As a result, they constantly seek a higher level of caretaking from others as adults. This may be achieved through manipulation of others, leaving them often feeling empty, angry, and abandoned, which may lead to desperate and impulsive behavior.

Narcissistic personality disorder. People with this disorder present severely overly-inflated feelings of self-worth, grandness, and superiority over others. People with narcissistic personality disorder often exploit others who fail to admire them. They are overly sensitive to criticism, judgment, and defeat.

BPD as defined my a Harvard Medical study ... .

BPD is believed to emerge from an interaction between genes and environment. The major twin study showed that genes accounted for 69% of the variance in diagnostic concordance. This concordance rate is similar to that found in bipolar disorder and stronger than rates for depression or anxiety. Functional MRI studies of BPD patients show abnormalities in the amygdala (an almond-sized and shaped brain structure linked with a person's mental and emotional state) and the prefrontal cortex (a part of the brain associated with planning, reasoning, solving problems and regulating thoughts, feelings and behaviors).Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a severe mental illness seen in approximately 20% of inpatient and outpatient clinical samples and between 1.2% and 5.9% of the general population. It can co-occur with other disorders, but studies of its heritability, diagnostic validity/reliability, and of specific treatments indicate that it is best considered an independent disorder that negatively affects the patient's treatment response to comorbid disorders, particularly mood disorders.

Borderline Personality Disorder is severe and can be lethal, with an estimated 65-70% of individuals making at least one suicide attempt and 10% dying by suicide. Persons with BPD are high utilizers of treatment, especially emergency departments and inpatient hospitalizations - the most expensive forms of psychiatric treatment.

With all of that being said ... .we can't & won't tell you what you should think or do ... .we can educate you on the Cluster B mental illness ... .what we have experienced ... .I can tell you from not one but 2 exBPDgf that everything you wrote is very common in the world of BPD.  You saw     ... .with everything that you have read & learned ... .and with the definitions above ... .what does your logical thinking tell you?  

J