when I'm gone

[meantcorn34]

My BPDs 23 is on disability and having a rough time finding his way in the world. I am his payee and manage his money. He's taking some steps, however small, to train for work through our state's vocational rehab. He has some social difficulties, although has been able to maintain a few friendships. He has great difficulty being alone.

Psychiatrist report says he cannot live independently,  but should have some type of supervision. Someone checking in on him, but not necessarily living with him is ok. I have looked into developmental disabilities services even though his IQ is average. He can qualify for services if he is eligible for medicaid. Unfortunately,  Social services says he is not eligible. That's a battle I have to fight.

I am 62, and worried what will happen to him when I'm gone. We have only distant relatives who strongly disapprove of him being transgender.  What sort of plans have you made for your adult child after you're gone?  I could really use some suggestions. 

Thanks.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hi meantcorn34 and welcome to the parenting board 

I have not made any plans but at times I have looked to the future and wondered what lies ahead. I'm hoping my daughter can live independently following treatment - whether that transpires is another thing. At the moment my head is in the present. I'd hope the fact my daughter is now in the health system means she can go get help at anytime in her life.  She is good at asking for help and is prepared to challenge obstacles - those skills for sure work in her favour. Neither does she want to live on her own, so a flat share would be a way forward. We don't talk about housing yet as it would cause her huge anxiety and the present goal is to get through treatment.

I'm in the UK so not conversant with US health system - if the psychiatrist says he can not live independently one would hope that would support your Medicaid case. Why are they saying he not eligible for Medicaid?

I have no idea what support is available in the UK, that's another to do - to find out. We do have supported housing but who is eligible and for how long I don't know.

Thanks for asking this important question, I'm sure more useful replies than will arrive soon.

WDx

[lbjnltx]

I am setting up a trust to manage the financial end of my daughter's continued support after I am gone.  The manager of the trust is knowledgeable of BPD and my d as an individual.

Contact NAMI for resources of group/assisted living options for the mentally ill in your area.

Here is a link to some basic info to get you started on the search for possibilities:

www.ehow.com/how_6867002_locate-group-homes-mental-patients.html